NYX

New Place New Faces

NYX POV:

On the phone

"Nyx, Please be good this is the last place that you could transfer to, I dont think I could find you  any more places suitable for you" my aunt Mae said.

"yeah, yeah... I hear you... I will try my best not to f*ck this up". mumbling

"young lady your language" sigh

" yeah yeah". holding the cellphone away from me. 

 I know its been hard on her since I have been transferring a lot. Why? you asked?

Well, I'm a trouble maker, I dont put up with any kind of insults, trash talks. 

I dont really seek it or starting it, it just people around me, see me  differently. 

I stay away from them and keep to my self most of the time. 

I dont have friends either, I just can't keep one.

 I often think that they just want to be near me because of my cousin Nick or because my family is rich.

As I lay down on my bed im thinking 

 My mother died some years ago, and my father?  God knows where he is. 

I dont really give a f*ck about him. 

My aunt Mae and her son Nick are the only people I'm close to.

Her husband doesn't really like me.

 I guess since trouble always find me and seeing his wife getting more wrinkles by the day because of me.

Since I just turned 18 and in my last year of senior year.

 I've decided to stay on my own away from the city, closer to nature and with less people aka countryside. 

I have moved from New York to Texas Hill Country. 

Though I am not really looking forward to this change of school, but I am looking forward to this beautiful scenery.

 My aunt bought me a small cabin house 2 bedroom 1.5 bath room. It has a small back yard and front yard. It is surrounded by trees which I really like more privacy and away from those  prying eyes.

But you live alone and its dangerous (your inner self ask)

Well, I'm well verse on MMA, kali, I know how to handle a knife and a gun. I have been trained since i was 8. In and out of school since 10 years old Im a hot head you see.

when I was 12 my aunt let me attend anger management for teens. I do learned a lot, I met a different passion in drawing, listening to mellow music, rock climbing. focusing on my breathing and think possitive thoughts. But sometimes things just not as handy dandy, so they bought me this stress band. where you inflict pain on your wrist to gain control on your anger.  Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesnt. Reasons why Im here, maybe change in scenery will help more on my anger issues.

You might asked why are you always angry anyway.

Well you see, Im not always like this, my mom always called me her sweet night goddess. I have blonde hair and darkblue eyes. I know its weird, but i love my eyes till i hid it to the world.

my mom is my rock, she always encourage me and told me a lot of positive things in life. she always see the goodness of people. always forgive and ever smilling just like her little sister my aunt Mae. 

my being diliquent started when my mom died, i was 7 years old at that time. Her car got hit by a drunk truck driver. she didnt even make it to the hospital she died right there and then.

I cried and cried and cried somemore. I couldnt comprehend why the world took my mother away from me. I dont have a father to begin with so why take away the only person that matters to me.

anger rage self inflict harm, I want to die and join my mother. I fall into depression on a very young age. I Dont eat, sleep I stay in my room looking at outside the window. waiting, pondering, would have should have could have been. but now life doesnt matter anymore. 

my aunt took me in, encouraging me to live life better. that my mother would have been sad if she see me like this. I tried my best to  live up to her expectations. I bury my self to study and A's all my subsject. because of this many of my classmate is jealous of me thus starting this weird name calling  " Weird EYes". They say that my eyes looks weird, eyes that are cursed. hear them say that maybe thats the reason my mom died because of it. At first i ignore them, i know its not true. but the tripping, pushing name calling just wont stop till i SNAP!.

everytime I heard someone calling me names I punch them.

Everytime I heard them insults me I kick them.

Everytime I hear them talking shit about my mother I beat them to pulp.

I got Transferred to other school first semester to other school second semester. its either got kick out expelled or more detention. now no school will accept me private nor public. i got black listed.

Tomorrow is a new place and i will see new faces. I just hope i could make it to graduation. I only got few more subjects to comply and I'm out of high school.

Tomorrow is a new life  and a new mindset. hopefully i could make it without any trouble.

Tomorrow... tomorrow...