The Vampire's Rival

Just be

It was strange to have Hadley in my arms and yet simultaneously desperately yearn for her. I kissed her for the umpteenth time that day, but the kiss still felt unbearably fragile, a gift I couldn't possibly accept, but did. As with so many of the others before it, this kiss evolved, becoming fast, hard, deep, frantic, long, and slow. There were no words between us. No need for them. There was only sensation. Tenderness. Giving. Getting. Gratitude. Hunger. Need.

Desperate need.

Hadley was at my breast, teasing that insatiable hunger. I let out an embarrassingly deep sigh. We'd been at this for hours. How was I still so delicate? Before long, I was in that whimsical space where I was chasing the end, afraid of the possibility that I might miss it, that I might not find it, or get hold of it. So afraid that I'll lose it, that it won't work this time, that I won't work, tittering on this edge of utter desperation, while at the same time enjoying this space, enjoying how I was so insufferably close.

And then I was suddenly there!

Losing all control!

A burst of light lit up my mind before I disappeared into a wave of intense pleasure, the sensation pouring out of every part of me. And it wasn't just a physical manifestation. Our minds were open, intertwining and connecting and blending, mixing, merging, building to that beautiful climax. I'd stopped counting how many times it had happened. All I knew was that it would last and last, and I wanted to thank her, but didn't know how and I didn't want to speak, didn't want to take my mind off it.

But I could tell that she was tired now and I pulled her close, running my hands along her clavicle and down her ribcage as she weaved in and out of sleep, trying to stay up and continue, for me. I let her know that this was more than okay – that we could just cuddle. I let her curl herself against my chest and fall sleep in my arms. All the while, I still wondered about what I was going to do to deserve anything this good after everything I had put her through.

Before landing in my bed, we'd spoken for hours as she caught me up on a hundred and ten years of her life. She told me about her son, Jamil, and how she'd raised him with Kade as his adoptive father. Kade who had married his love, Brielle, and ended up having a beautiful family that stretched through several generations, before he passed away forty years ago. She told me about Kitari and how her and Hadley had struck an agreement with the Barn-bred humans that changed the blood supply system and opened up the Barns to the world. And how the Wildling Council joined in this new system, all of them brought together in their fight against the vampire dog Super Pack and the army of ghouls the vampire predators ended up controlling.

As I listened to Hadley speak, I was happy that she'd gone through it all and come out on the other side as this thriving, strong and amazing person, surrounded by family and friends who span generations and Enclaves and Wildling tribes. However, I was also ashamed that I had let her face all this alone, having lost both me and Jamila at the beginning of it. Ashamed and unable to fathom how I would ever make it up to her. I was supposed to protect her. I was supposed to share my strength with her. I was supposed to burn down the world for her if need be.

But I was so far away from that.

And yet, she'd still opened herself up to me.

Accepted me.

Forgiven me.

She stirred in my arms, then woke up, yawned, and rolled away from me to stretch, before draping herself back over me.

"I thought you never wanted to go back to the Compound," I whispered as I softly drew patterns on Hadley's back. "For your child's sake."

Hadley chuckled into against my chest. "That feels like a lifetime ago."