Ethan's POV (Bonus Book)

Chapter Forty-eight

Mia's eyes darted frantically between mine, her mouth fumbling to form shapes but no sound escaped past them. It was like I'd just told her the grass was purple, and the sky red, like I'd shifted her entire reality. And I suppose I had. 

I was supposed to be the boy who revelled in finding ways to wind her up, the boy who once kicked a ball at her to be an ass, from her reality I was supposed to be the last person ever interested in her in that way. Yet here I stood, looking her dead in the eye telling her how much I loved her.

I swallowed back the fear, that was bubbling up in my chest as it threatened to consume me. I wouldn't allow myself to regret my words and for telling the truth. It wasn't my fault I loved her, and I was fed up of being ashamed of it.

Mia's eyes continued to dart around my face, her brown eyes swirling in confusion. "But...but...," she stuttered. "How? When?" She mumbled, her voice filled with so much uncertainty.

Not taking my eyes off of her, I took a hesitant step forward, then another one. Once I'd closed the distance between us, I reached out and took her hands. Her hands were warm, and soft in mine, and I clutched them a little tighter than I had to, fearful that she'd leave after I'd finished with what I had to say.

Though it riddled me with fear, I returned my eyes sharply back to her intimidatingly beautiful eyes, then softly cleared my throat. "Remember how I told you I had a crush on you back in the sixth grade, and that's why I was mean to you?" My words came out soft, and as I awaited her response, I traced circles with my thumbs against the backs of her hands.

Mia's eyes continued to search over my face, in a way that made me feel naked and exposed. "Yeah?" she finally spoke hesitantly.

"Didn't you notice I never told you what grade I got over it?" I asked softly, remembering all too well how I'd distinctly left that part of my confession out at the cliff.

Mia blinked in surprise at my question, then nodded. "Well, Yeah, I noticed but I just assumed you got over it in the same year. Crushes never last too long," she said with an easy shrug as though things were just as simple as that.

I wanted to laugh as the words left her lips. 'Crushes never last too long.' That was no doubt the same dumb wording I used all the years ago when I was twelve, and first met her. It turns out I was wrong – some crushes never end, not when you don't want them to.

The corner of my lips cracked up into a small smile. "Mia, I never told you a date because it doesn't exist. I never stopped," I said, my heart racing faster, only emphasizing my point. "I've spent the last six years insanely obsessed with you, Mia."

Mia shook her head slowly, seeming adamant about not believing me. Her eyes searched mine for some kind of deception, or trick, likely remembering my stupid joke at the ice cream shop that long time ago when I'd asked her to kiss me. I'd played it off as a joke at the time, but I hadn't been joking.

"B-but that can't be true? You literally told me you liked someone else. You said she was perfect and all this other unbelievable shit," she said, her eyes narrowing fast.

I looked over her in confusion, genuinely confused by what she was referring to before I remembered, and a sharp smile tugged to my lips. She was talking about herself.

A laugh escaped my lips, amused she hadn't connected the dots. The idea of me liking her must have been so foreign to her, she refused to see facts that were glaring her straight in the face.

I wasn't a fool, I knew it was my constant lies and deception that had made her feel that way, but now I was determined to fix that. I was going to tell her over and over again that I loved her if I had to.