the fault in our skrunks

~🌸✨💖Chappy 5🌸✨💖~

Author's note: Iplay✨Nocturne in B-Flat Minor, Op. 9 No. 1✨ by Frédéric Chopin in the background for maximum 💖vibes💖 uwu. 🌸Enjoy🌸~

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"🌸✨nya✨🌸" I, 💖Hawwy Potteww💖, say cutely. My eyes dawwt around the wwoom, taking in every detail of the place. The purple and yellow lightning bolt wallpaper, the minifridges that completely lined the wall, the giant MCR poster and the conveniently placed mirror that showed my reflection. I peered closer at my appearance in the mirror. My hair was black, but not in the emo way, but more in that glossy kawaii anime boi way. I'm wearing a white button up shirt with a ruffly collar and baby pink shorts that have little bows on them. Also, I have on my signature cat ear headphones. With a start, I realize that I'm not alone in the room. I stop looking at myself and I slowly move my awm so my elbow and fowweawwm fowwm an acute angle (because it's so cute owo) and make a peace sign at Boss Baby. Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

"🌸~💖What's going on, owo💖~🌸?" I inquiwed. Suddenly I wealize my pink cat-ear softboi headphones are slightly askew and my face flushes. I quickly adjust my headphones, hoping desperately that nobody comments on how they were slightly slanted. Suddenly, to my chagwin, I heaw a voice ring out (uwa!). The voice was cold, with an edge like a concealed bwade. Each word dwipped with barely disguised contempt (owo). *winks cutely owo*

"🖕🖕🖕None of your business, stinky face🖕🖕🖕. Also, I don't like your headphones and neither does anybody else."

It was 🌸Twoy🌸. Shimmewy tears well up in my eyes ｡* '(oஇ‸இo)' *｡. Why is he being so mean owo???. What did I do to ✨desewwve✨ his mockewwy >/////<? I loweww my gaze and focus on the flooww, wwather than the gwwowing knots in my stomach. The flooww was made up of some stunning wood, most likely kempas wood, in a 🌸Hewwingbone🌸 pattern. I notice that the flooww has an 💕Aluminum Oxide💕 finish to pwevent it from being damaged (✨💖how smart, UwU💖✨). I nod slightly, as wheneveww a flooww is damaged, I feel like a piece of my spawwkling personality has been damaged as well o(TヘTo). As my eyes twail down the floor, I notice an overwwlap wweducer with an undewlayment of terrazzo. Whoeveww built this house must have known what they were doing, for there are minimal signs of warping or noticeable foot twaffic. (＊〇□〇）......! The impact wesistance is one of the finest I have ever seen, with a fantastic fibewwboard core. b (> U <) d

"Who the h💖ll are you? Actually it doesn't matter because you're a loser." Twoy inquiries menacingly owo.

I gasp, and teaws stawt to well up in my eyes. The comment makes my 🌸tempew🌸 fware up like a cat who's tail was just stepped on. I gwit my teeth. How dare he talk to me in that manner!（｀Δ')！My world turns wed and I waise my wand. It has pictuwwes of hewwo kitty on it.

"⚡💫✨🌟🌙Avadwa Kedawwvwaa⚡💫✨🌟🌙!" I cwy (∩ ' -')⊃━━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ.

Time slows as my spell hits Twoy. He stumbles backward muttewing something under his breath...his last words? Tears stweam in the aiw as he falls backward. The entiwe woom is holding their bweath. Then a thud. I do not need to look to know that Twoy has pewished (X___X).

💖Boss Baby-chan💖 stawwes at me. "Did you just... kill Jimbo?"

"Yes owo," I tell him. "He's ✨dead✨ now." Boss Baby gasps.

"Why did you kill him?!" he cwwies.

">////////<," I teww him.

🌸Boss Baby-chan🌸 stawwes at me."What the f💖💖💖, you 🖕prep🖕? YOU JUST MURDERED SOMEONE!!"

Suddenly, Troy sits up.

I ignowe Boss Baby and stare at Troy. "Howww awwe you alive, ✨bitch✨?" I cwy at twoy in astonishment. Then I wealize I must have said 💖Avada Kedavwwa💖 wrong. Hewmione always told me I need to stop weplacing r's with w's. That was befowwe I ✨shot her point bwank✨ owo.

"I don't know," said Boss Baby. "But I'm leaving. Jimbo,"

"Troy," Twoy cowwected, "Jimbo is a loser name,"

"-Jimbo, if you ever want to talk, here's my number."