You like to preach with a vodka in your mug

Chapter three

"Oh my God," Louis chokes, "you cannot be serious."

Harry beams, innocent as ever. Now he gets why Harry didn't want to get ready at home: he's sure Harry's mum would have had something to say about this. Louis is aware Harry likes to steal his sister's clothes, often just a top or trousers (he really hopes this isn't stolen because that's a family dynamic Louis doesn't want to think about) but, seriously, a Playboy Bunny?

"What?"

"You're going to a halloween party, not an orgy," Louis scoffs. Louis thought he was going all out when he'd bought a fake axe to be Patrick Bateman, which he was probably going to leave on the side and forget about as soon as someone got a picture of him, but Harry clearly went to Hookers R Us at the weekend.

"I've got a coat to wear over it," Harry hums, "'cause I like you mum, I don't want her to have a heart attack."

"I think the fishnets might give the game away, baby."

Harry, it seems, cannot be talked out of it. Louis' mum asks if they want their photo taken before they go out and Louis probably answers a little quickly and says that no, they're fine and their lift is here. Liam's mum doesn't arrive for another few minutes so Louis shivers and wonders how Harry hasn't turned blue as they stand at the end of the driveway.

Liam's mum eyes Harry's fishnets but doesn't say anything.

"Can you do me tighter when we get out the car?"

Louis' breath catches in his throat and he catches Liam's eye in the rear view mirror. Louis' gonna kill him.

"What?"

"My costume is a bit loose."

"Right."

Harry drops his coat off of his shoulders after thanking Liam's mum for the lift and Louis pulls on the threads of the corset he's wearing. Honestly, a lace up corset has got to be pricey and Harry's still paying off his car insurance. What are this kid's priorities?

Liam, thankfully, mumbles something about going in and Louis rolls his eyes when Harry sticks his hip out and batters his eyelashes.

"Not in someone else's house."

"What?"

"You know what I mean."

Harry giggles and runs ahead. It's Taylor's party and even she's dressed more modestly than Harry and she never had to leave the house. Fuck, maybe Louis is just complaining because he doesn't want to get a hard on at a Halloween party.

"What are you dressed as, mate, Louis' hoe?"

Louis glances down at his own outfit and shit. The business shirt and trousers really make it look like he's hired Harry.

"Okay, I'm meant to be Patrick Bateman," Louis scoffs and waves his fake axe about, "but Harry decided he's going to be an escort."

"I'm just a bunny."

"Yeah, a Playboy one."

"Stop whining," Harry has the audacity to put his hands on his hips and wiggle his bum before strutting off in the direction of the drinks table. He's gracious enough to get Louis one but Niall laughs at him as soon as he takes a sip and it tastes like vodka and coke with a ratio of one shot of coke per cup of vodka.

"That tastes like burning," Louis splutters. Harry apologises and swaps their drinks over and takes a massive gulp like it isn't pure alcohol. Oh well, it's a party, Louis' not going to get on his back, just for tonight.

Louis regrets that quite quickly but by then he's gone tipsy himself.

Harry disappears two and a half hours in (Louis assumes he's gone outside with some of the girls to freeze his bollocks off or something) and he carries on making a 'cocktail' for Niall. It's just a mix of every alcohol on the table and it smells like piss and Niall spits it out on the floor and Taylor pretends to strangle him once the girls come back from taking pictures. However, Harry is still unaccounted for. Louis takes it upon himself to find him once he's finished laughing at Niall's whining about how gross that drink is. Louis guesses it's the tequila rose that's fucking it up and making it split but that's a problem for Niall's stomach.