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excuse all mistakes.
All day I had been in a mood. I was beyond horny and I just my hands weren't doing me any good. I hadn't thought about using any toys and Ash said they came in handy but was it as good as dick? Like I really just wanted some dick. But I am not going back to my ex for dick so...
Sighing, I got out the bed and made it up. With me being in a mood I haven't done anything but lay in the bed either binge watching shows or playing Episodes, Papa's Freezeria, and Wordscapes.
I slowly walked out the room and went into my painting room. I immediately connected my phone to the speaker and shuffled my playlist. Jukai by Jhené Aiko decided to play and it made me feel at peace. I loved this song.
I got everything that I needed together before sitting down on the stool. I didn't know exactly what I was painting so I'll probably just end up freestyling. And that's what I ended up doing for the next hour or so until I got hungry.
That's when I decided to grab my phone to go on Doordash. I wanted ChickFilA but when I clicked on it, it said it was closed. I always wanted ChickFilA on a Sunday. Hated that shit. Instead I'd just get Mcdonald's, 10 piece Nugget meal with a Oreo McFlurry and 3 cookies. Them cookies be hitting on something.
While I waited for my food I decided to call Ash. Every since she took me out for my birthday, her and I had been talking frequently. Thankfully she didn't give off any weird vibes but I feel like I needed to still keep my guard up.
"Hey frienddddd!" She yelled into the phone and showed Val.
"Hey, tt. You look pretty where you going?"
Outta nowhere I got quiet realizing that if I didn't have a miscarriage, my baby would be born as of now. I felt a wave of sadness come along.
"What's wrong?" Val asked.
"Hold on Val." Ash got up to go somewhere. "What's wrong? Are you bipolar?"
"Shit, I might be. But I-I don't know Ash, I was just doing so good."
"So, what's wrong?"
"If I didn't have a miscarriage my baby would've been born. I was just doing good with not crying and stuff."
"Crying about something like that is different. You had a miscarriage, you lost your baby. It is perfectly fine to cry about that. You hear me? Since when you felt like you couldn't cry about something traumatizing?"
"I be feeling like I cry too much. Oh my gosh especially when I was pregnant. I cried about the most smallest things. Girl I was emotional as hell and dramatic. I don't really miss it, but being that if I would've never lost my baby I would be in the hospital pushing the baby out."
