In which a boy that was slowly finding himself starts to lose himself again, but is it permanent this time?
or
"I'll never deserve you, never" Silas started to choke on his own tears pushing down the screams he wanted to let out down his throat. He...
"Grief is the price we pay for love. ~ Queen Elizabeth
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Bella didn't know what to think about the club her brother took her to. Nor did she know what to think about his secret tattoos that lit up under the black lights. All Bella knew was the hangover she was going to have tomorrow was going to be a bitch. She let Silas lead her to a glass top bar that was covered in sticky dried liquor, fingerprints, and faded stickers. Before she knew it she was four " Birthday cake" drinks deep. Luckily the first was free as were the other three after people around her heard it was her birthday. Silas had disappeared two drinks ago with a blonde who looked eerily similar to Mike Newton. Now Bella knew she should ignore the tall brunette that was sending her mischievous smiles but when he walked off towards the dance floor well... she followed. The two danced to the hypnotic music.
The male leaned in close enough so Bella could hear him yell at the booming bass. "I'm Lorenzo!" Bella could barely hear him only partial of what he said. " Nice to meet you Leo I'm Isabella." At that moment Bella wanted to be anyone but ' just Bella' or ' Edward's Bella' and this was her opportunity to be anyone but her own stranger while drunk dancing with the tall brunette " You come with your friends Bell?" It seems the male didn't quite catch her name either over the loud music although she could hear an Italian accent. " My brother!" She yelled back to him the thought of her having friends was laughable. Edward made sure he kept her to himself just enough for her to be ostracized from her classmates. 'Leo' or Lorenzo nodded along in understanding. "Special occasion?" He questioned with a quirked brow. " It's my birthday!" Gone was the shy and insecure girl underage drinking did wonders for her confidence apparently. "Happy birthday Bell!, Can I buy you a drink?" Against her better judgment, Bella accepted his offer and allowed him to lead her to the bar. An hour later Silas was nowhere to be found and he wasn't picking up his phone. While Bella was too drunk to stand.
" Can I call you a cab? It's almost sun up." 'Leo' offered Bella kindly waiting on the curb with her. He watched in admiration as she lit up a cigarette and took a long drag off of it while she held herself up against the brick wall. "Yeah... yeah that'd be good." She agreed handing over her phone. Lorenzo quickly put in his contact info and sent himself a text so he'd have the drunk beauty's number before dialing up a cab. When the cab pulled up he paid the fair for Bella as a gift unknown to her. " Swan residence." She slurred out to the driver. One bumpy car ride, staircase mountain climb, and three hours later. Silas slammed her bedroom door open with a sigh of relief to see that his sister was safe.
"Where the fuck did you go? Huh!" He shrieked snatching her covers off causing Bella to shiver against the September chill. Bella quickly noticed his bloodshot eyes either from crying or too much alcohol. Although Silas looked completely sober he selt of beer and weed. " I- I... I took a cab home you weren't answering your phone." She stammered out before putting her hand over her mouth as if she was going to puke up her guts. Silas quickly snatched up her side table trash can so Bella wouldn't puke all on the carpet. "Send me a text next time me and Newton spend hours looking for you." He spoke up after Bella got done retching up what was on her stomach which was mainly alcohol.
Bella fisted Silas's or well Mike Newton's hoodie and took a deep sniff. " Smells more like you went back to his place." Silas's face flushed red in embarrassment. "Nothing happened he had a few warm beers in the back seat and a blunt in the glove box." Bella glared at him she knew how much his sobriety meant and he'd waste it on what? Shitty weed and a boy. Well, this is Silas we're talking about he never had his priorities straight. Bella shook herself from her thoughts and scooted closer to the edge allowing Silas to slide behind her so they could both rest.
It was well past noon when Bella woke up to the sound of yelling and something slamming down on the countertops. "You let your Underage mind you! Sister into a club and get wasted!?" Charlie had never been so disappointed and shocked. "Are you fucking high Silas?" Bella could only hear the sound of laughter after Charlie's question. "Me? High?" Then came more laughter and the sound of glass shattering Bella watched the scene unfold from the blind spot in the corner. Silas was so obviously stoned. From what she couldn't decipher could be anything when it came to her brother.
"Go pack your stuff." Bella let out a gasp alerting the men in the kitchen. "Bells..." Silas whispered loud enough for her to hear it only for her to turn and run back up the stairs. Silas sent a glare to his father. " I'll fix this." He gritted on fists clenched running up the stairs behind his younger sister. The sound of Charlie crying illuminated the empty kitchen as he watched his son run after Bella. Silas knew Bella would be on their terrace.
"Is Charlie making you go?" She asked Silas reminding him of a child whose puppy just died "Dad thinks I'm a bad influence on you..." Bella gave a wet laugh as he dried up her tears. She looked to pack Marbolo reds on the table and fished one out of the pack. Silas flicked the lighter to light it up for her as she inhaled. Bella let out a slow exhale of smoke and smiled as a few more tears dropped. "The worst." Silas could only laugh in response, they'd worry about everything else later.
finally an update , a bit more emotional chapter than what I was going for but here we are, hope your tissues and a cigarette was handy I know mine wasnt.
