Rekindled Flame

Later Rather than Sooner

Michael pov: 

I paused, resting my head under his chin, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest.

"I'm sorry, I should've mentioned this before," Noah murmured, his voice tinged with embarrassment.

I laughed softly and met his gaze. "And how were you supposed to bring that up?" I teased.

He covered his face with his hands and groaned. "I don't know..." he mumbled. Then, parting his fingers so I could see his eyes, he added, "Stop making fun of me!"

I grinned as he gently pushed my chin up. "Sorry, sorry!" I said, trying to suppress a chuckle. "But, um, I'm not exactly used to that either."

"Bottoming?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, that," I admitted. "Considering I had a wife and all—"

He squeezed his eyes shut, his cheeks flushing. "Alright, I get it! You can spare me your marital sex life," he interrupted.

I laughed and laid my head on his chest. Noah's heart was beating fast, and he felt warm beneath me. We lay like this for a while, enjoying the comfortable silence. That is, until he shifted slightly, lifting his leg to the side.

"You're hard... still?" I asked, a hint of amusement in my voice.

He covered his face again and groaned. "I shouldn't have worn sweatpants," he mumbled.

An idea formed in my mind, but uncertainty gnawed at me. I didn't exactly have experience with this. We'd hooked up a few times in high school, but those encounters were awkward and hesitant—neither of us knew what we were doing, and that was part of the fun. Now, years later, I still didn't have any idea what to do, and I was almost positive Noah didn't either.

"Want some help with that?" I offered tentatively.

He shook his head quickly. "No! I'm sorry, I don't mean it like that," he stammered. "I—of course I want you to, but you said you wanted to take things slow. I guess what I'm saying is that I don't want to ruin the moment."

Even though his face was partially covered and his speech muffled, I could see the embarrassment as his ears turned pink.

I spoke softly, "It wouldn't ruin the moment. We can wait."

I slipped my hands under his shoulder blades, pulling him closer as he began to brush his fingers through my hair. "I don't want you to regret it," he whispered.

I froze for a moment. "Why do you say that?" I asked gently.

It seemed I had struck a nerve. He laughed softly, a hint of disbelief in his tone. "Well, when I kissed you on your doorstep, I didn't hear from you for months. I thought maybe you really did hate me. After all, who was gonna tell me different? Right before, you had shoved me off and then gave some crazy mixed signals. Not to mention you cut me off once you got married, even though I had already communicated to you and your wife that I fully respect your choices. I explained I would never do anything to cause harm to a perfectly fine family. Yet I was the one being ignored." He whispered, "Damn it, Mike, I didn't even know you had twins, and I had never even met the son you had when I was around." Noah paused, then continued, "Look, we've all been through hell together, especially you. I can't imagine what happened in that house behind closed doors... Just from the things you've told me, it was inhumane."

I tensed and spoke quietly. "I love Katie, but I also love you. I was irresponsible and got her pregnant. I always wanted to do better than my own father. I swore to myself if a girl I was with ever got pregnant, I wouldn't abandon her or the child like he did the first few years of my life. Of course, an underage pregnancy wasn't the plan, but I had to be in their lives full time. I don't want you to think I ever hated you. I thought it was for the best."