Sarah Heathcliff (My friend interpretation of her.)

Greif and Depression

I am currently at my house at the moment, it has been so long since I have taken a break, I let Adam and Jonah have a break to, since Jonah cannot fend for himself he lives with me. I cannot leave him out on the streets, he needs me and I cannot bare to lose another one I love, not ever. I did not wanna relive the same grief I am currently trying to get over, I did not want to remove my brother's things from his old room so Jonah can move in, I didn't want him completely erased from my life. So I removed all of the junk from the room we have been using as storage and put it all in the backyard so Jonah can move in. I already provided all the stuff he needed to have a room before he even start moving in, all I am hoping for is that he does not start smoking in my house. If he does then that is pushing a boundary, I know I should not let smoking get the best of him but right now I did not feel like doing anything. I need a break from everything, I needed time to myself, I am sure Jonah and Adam would understand that and not bug me about anything. I love them both but I hate Adam for most of the time. Both boys can really give me hard time sometimes and it frustrates me to the point my heart is racing and my blood is boiling. I could not help it, My company is not even that big the only help I have to run it is Adam and Jonah I don't know why it has to be this hard to run a small fucking company.

I am sure Jonah and Adam never meant to leave my harm on me but still I am getting very fucking sick of everything! I want it all to end so badly, I wish things were how they used to be. I love them both very much but it is fucking hard to run a company and be on both of their asses at the same time, it makes me want to fucking cry and I wish my brother was still here to help me with all of this. I need him and I wish that fucking asshole, Thatcher would have came to help him with the alternate before it all happened! I fucking hate the police and I fucking hate Thatcher. Both him and the police are on my damn blacklist and I will not be calling them for anything at all, I cannot trust them at all after ignoring my brother's calls for help!

I want my brother back, I wish he was not gone, I miss him so much, I cannot keep living like this anymore, I wish I can leave this stupid fucking world...but I can't, what would both Adam and Jonah do without me if I committed to it? They cannot survive without me, they need my help.