(TW: R@pe/Sexu@l @ss@ult/$uicidal Thoughts)
The Class Trial, is over. Teruteru has been executed. Nagito has been knocked out. I wasn't paying attention. It's not worth it. Suspecting and distrusting others is too much for me right now. I'm dealing with my own troubles at the moment.
I could hear voices and people arguing. It doesn't matter. We're all going to die sooner or later. Why even try? This trial is proof of that. I was sobbing before I even knew it.
Mahiru was comforting me but, I didn't feel anything like I did before. I just felt empty. Mahiru's touch and warmth wasn't enough to help me. I'm just a disgusting gay who's going to perish sooner or later. The world would be better off without me anyway, right? Why not just speed up the process so everyone will be happier?
'You get everything handed to you since you're a Saionji.'
'All Saionji's are toxic and stuck up. Don't even try to be friends with her. She'll just take advantage of you.'
'She's just a rude brat. Don't even try. It's worthless.'
The voices don't stop. Why aren't they stopping? Why is it showing me my worst memories? Why won't they leave me alone!? But, it's not like they're wrong.
Mahiru would be better.
Mikan would be better.
I would be better.
Once I'm out of here, I think I'll kill myse-
My face was wet. Like rain onto the pavement. But it wasn't rain that landed on me. It was tears that didn't belong to me. I wasn't the only one that was crying.
Mahiru was too. So even she's scared. Scared of this hopeless situation. I see now. I can't leave yet. I need to be here. For Mahiru. For myself. If I die then, it'll just result in another class trial. I could end up hurting people more than I was trying to fix.
I wiped the tears from Mahiru's face. Just like how she did to me. She looked at me with a horrified look on her face. It was ugly. Not the Mahiru I know, and love.
"It's okay. I'm okay. You helped me so much these past days. Now it's my turn to help you." I hugged her, comforting her. She laid her head on my own and sobbed for what felt like hours to her I'm sure.
"I'm just so scared. Two of our friends are dead. What's going to happen to us?" Mahiru barely let out.
Friend? I can understand Ham Hands but...Teruteru? He was a disgusting pervert that committed murder. If anything, he deserved to die. He always reminded me of.........that one time. Frankly, I'm glad he's dead.
After a bit of time, everyone was gone. We were back on the beach and everyone went their separate ways. Most went back to their cottages though. Mahiru and I went together.
We were so exhausted, I was asleep before my head even hit the pillow. Falling into a deep sleep, hoping this was all just a horrible nightmare that I could leave for just a moment. But I myself was having one.
It was dark, like I was backstage for a show. I recognized this one. It was one I went to frequently. It was actually in my hometown. So many memories were made here, bad and good.
But one in particular stood above the rest of the memories. That night. That horrible dreadful night. One I will never forget until they are beyond dead. It wasn't just a nightmare, I was reliving a memory. This really is the island of despair.
I remember every little detail down to the exact spec of dust in the room. I was wearing a new outfit my tailor made for me. It's one of my favorite actually. Well it WAS, one of my favorites.
It was modeled after the old folk tale of the moon rabbit. It had a mask and everything. Blue and gold were the main colors with white being a more subtle color. It went along with my blonde pigtails very well. I wore it to all the shows on this tour.
