Balance | A. Kirigan

1. Anniversary

"Eliza..."

"Elizabeth..."

"ELIZA!"

I shot up from my pillow in a cold sweat. That voice, so familiar yet so far away, had once again pulled me from my nightmare filled sleep and into the waking world. I lifted a shaking hand to my face and found the tears I knew would be there, I always woke up crying now.

With a heavy sigh I slipped from my warm bed and into the cold bathroom, my thick pj's doing little to fight the icy feeling that had invaded my very soul. I turned on the shower and waited for the steam to rise from behind the curtain before undressing and stepping under the scalding water, I felt myself falling into a trance as I succumbed to the monotony of my routine and I welcomed the brief reprieve from the dreams that haunted my every move.

When I finally emerged from the deep recesses of my imagination I found myself curled up in my favorite chair, staring out the window at the rain. I stood from my spot and stretched my stiff muscles as I made my way to the kitchen. I surveyed the small area for a moment until my eyes landed on my tea chest and electric kettle, I chose my favorite blend from the mahogany box and proceeded to prepare myself a mug of the warm beverage.

Only once the tea was securely in my hand did I dare return to the window to watch the thunder clouds roll. A wave of melancholy washed over me as I glanced down at the photo of my parents collecting dust on the window sill. They died in an accident when I was sixteen, I've been alone since then.

Usually on days like this, when I feel myself drowning in sorrow, I go out and volunteer at an animal shelter or visit the nursing home. Today is different though, today is the day they died, today I will wallow in my sadness and tomorrow I will be happy again. But until tomorrow comes I will let myself be consumed by the pain that threatens to swallow me whole.

A/N: Thank you for choosing my story, I know the beginning was rough but I wanted you to get a sense of where Elizabeth was coming from and her current state of mind. When I started this I had wanted her to be a sunny, happy character to contrast Kirigan's brooding, angry presence but the more I wrote the more I found myself channeling my own pain through her. Now, while Eliza is an extension of myself and my grief, we are not the same person. I did not write myself into this work and I plan on keeping it that way. Comments are always welcome as long as they aren't rude and I look forward to going on this journey with you all!

-Gee