State of Grace - Jack Hughes

006

Jack

My alarm went off abruptly at 6:30 this morning. I use a real alarm clock, too many times my phone fails me, so the noise is jarring. Last night was game one of the playoffs and to say the least, it was downright horrible. An embarrassment on our own ice. Our only goal was a penalty shot that I scored. Allie said we were evenly matched, but for fucks sake we could not find a rhythm. On the upside we have guaranteed 3 more games, we will turn it around, Allie did pick us in 7.

This girl. I have been awake for a mere 10 minutes and she's popped up twice. Today, she comes down to Jersey to start her job. I barely know her, but I'm proud of her. She speaks so passionately about her job, even if I don't fully understand what she's saying. We have an early morning skate and Coach is going to make us watch film and go over very agonizing mistake we made.

Luke and I are dragging ass to the arena this morning. Just because he didn't play, doesn't mean he gets off easy now. I'm sitting in my stall, with a few moments to spare before my phone gets locked away. I slip my phone out of my gym bag and open Allies contact. We hadn't spoken since she told me her plans, but I just couldn't forget she was coming today. 

Allie Green

so hows it feel?

how does what feel?

youre an official jersey resident today

well my fake id was from jersey so i've always had an address here lol

but not really till after graduation but i get your point

yeah little different lol

wait why are you up so early

i wanted to load the car before class

im leaving right after 

what time are you getting here

my last class ends at 5ish

3 hour drive

with stops prob 8:30

why not leave tm morning 

i have to be at msg at 8am

ah yes

the enemy 

im sorry ab last night

but you had a great goal

you watched? 

duh 😊 

we will turn it around 

i know you will

i cant wait to see you

i left your tickets at will call

and something extra

you dork 

ill see you tm 

let me know how your first day goes?

obviously 

drive safe

unlike luke

always

Just as I suspected, practice was brutal. Not in a physical way, we were all just emotionally exhausted. Having to relive the embarrassment of the game and hear how sad Coach was with us.

By the time practice came to an end, it was lunch time and Luke was getting hangry and I wasn't ready to leave. I gave Luke the keys, reluctantly, and decided to hand them over.

"Please just be careful. We just got it back," I plead.

"I'll be back in an hour," he rolled his eyes and left.

The rink is my happy place. When I'm here, on the ice, every issue seemed small and insignificant. The only thing that mattered was my game. I marked a part on the boards with a piece of my tape and grabbed a crate of pucks. I just took shots at that one spot, changing my location on the ice. I shot at the tape until is was black with puck marks, threatening to fall off the wall.

Luke finds his way back to the arena and I finally need to go home. I can't overdo it. Tomorrow matters. Yesterday was my playoff debut and it was laughable. No repeats. No mistakes. Not for myself. Not for my team. Not for Allie. 

The day slowly changes into the evening. I spent my day at home, taking it easy. Luke and I wasted hours on the couch playing video games. It felt like we were in Michigan in our parents' house all over again.

I look out the window, with only a few hours left of daylight. I remove myself from the couch and shuffle into my room. I find some shorts, a t-shirt, my Airpods and a hat.

"Lukey, I'm feeling anxious about tomorrow. I'm going to go to the park for run. Do you want to come?"

"Uh, not really. I am beat. Why are you so anxious?"

"The game matters. I don't know. Mom and dad are here, Quinn, even Trev. It's just a lot."

"And Allie," He adds bluntly. "And her family."

"Yeah, that too." I sigh. "Maybe it was a mistake to invite them."

"I didn't think you would do it. This is new for you, taking risks." He rises from the couch and comes over, and with a slap on the shoulder he says "Don't over think it. This could be good for you. Enjoy your run man."

The run didn't help. 3 miles, felt like a waste of time. But there is no going back no. The tickets and the pass for her to come back are already set aside. She's coming, and I will have to play my heart out. By the time I got back to the apartment, the sun had set, and I am greeted by Luke on the couch watching some horrendous TV show.

"So did it help?" He asked without moving his eyes of the screen.

I slip my shoes off by the door "Nope, but I can't say I tried." I say getting a bottle of water out of the fridge. "I'm just going to shower and call it. Maybe I can sleep it away. See you tomorrow."

"Night."

The only good thing about this not being our parents' house is Luke and I have been own bathrooms. I take a scalding hot shower, one that turns my skin red. The shower isn't long enough, but I don't want to hear that I have used all the hot water.

I find some clean sweatpants, and crawl into bed. It is only 9:30. Allie got here at 8:30. She didn't text. I feel like an idiot for being upset about that. I don't even know her, and she's invaded my brain. I set my alarm clock and put my phone face down on my nightstand. I shut my eyes tightly and roll over.