DIFFERENT (Teen Moriarty x reader)

Chapter 11 It came lightly

It was a mist filled afternoon that the news had hit you.
A wave of uncertainty and concern carried on a shaken messengers back. It was unexpected to say the least.. A horribly bitter bite to swallow, a scene so shocking it had nearly collapsed it self trying to form in your brain.

It made a sensation much like burning grease set fire to your stomach. Yet landing a cold absence in your heart. Your tear ducks remained dry.. As did your cheeks that lay below them.

It was a sudden jolt to your senses, yet a stop to your breath as these sorrow bitten words consumed your ear drums.

"She's gone.." He said, and with certainty nipping at the doubtful hope that tried to form it self deep down; you swallowed the pill that was this information.

The silence that followed seemed endless as you had no words to express your emotions. It wasn't as if this should come easy, but you expected more warning of course.

"(Y/n)... I'm sorry." He continued, a slight comfort he tried to insure but it was pointless.

"That will be all... Thank you." And there it came.. A Familiar warm voice followed a gentle hand pressing the door shut. Finally the face of the messenger had disappeared and you where left with yourself.

"Are you-.. Well I suppose it's pointless to ask stupid questions." That warm voice filled you again as your eyes welled that salty water that blurred the view of the tile floor beneath you.

You felt your legs grow weary as you turned your features up to meet the owner of the soft gentle tone.
He stood parallel to you, eyes fixed with yours, containing a comfort that welcomed you.

You studied him as he stared, awaiting your response, any response to let him know what to do.

"She wasn't a very... Good mother.." You said, in a shaken, nearly beaten voice.

"But...she was a mother non the less.." You continued, your words chocking up in your throat.

He studied your eyes as they shifted from him to the floor and to him again.

"The effects of lose do not change with weather something was good nor bad.. But rather what it was to begin with." He replied, you where not effected by his words.. You couldn't process enough to care for any poetic speech that left his mouth.

You slowly moved a shaking foot to him, as the your heart clenched it's self in your chest.

You shuffled your feet tell you had finally stood in front of him. Then.. Slowly, you reached out with wobbling arms and wrapped your self around him.

Its never easy... Hugging people when your broken... It somehow has an effect on the situation. Like an unstable tower, one push can make it fall. It seemed that when taken into warm arms, the comfort becomes to much.. It becomes a safe place.. A shelter that makes it safe to let go. That is... If it comes from the right person.

You barred your face into his plaid shirt, the fabric pressing to your face. But you did not cry.....the blur has left your eyes and Not a single droplet of water dropped down your cheek. Not a cry of pain or suffering not a cry at all...

His shirt was soft, welcoming and warm from being worn by him.

His comforting embrace was enough to send shivers down your spine. But before you had the nerve to completely take in your actions you released and took a step back.

It was clear that a sudden change in energy had washed over you.

You aren't sad... You can't cry because it's not something you need to cry over.

It hit you like bricks at first... Like a title wave threading a damn. So sudden.. And so harsh that it consumed you in its darkness. But now it was nothing... Not even absence. Not even waves of uncertainty... More of pure nothing had Sunken to your core.

"(Y/n)?" He asked, noticing your suddenly repulsed nature.

You didn't look up, you where now starring at the ground... Running threw your brain for signs of emotions.

"Are you alright?"

You had still not responded. You stood blank, processing how empty you felt.. But the emptiness was not as you expected it to be. It wasn't a feeling of not having enough or losing to much... It was a feeling of simply nothing... A simple word.. For a simple feeling...

Just... Nothing...

"(Y/n)?!" Jim asked more demanding now as if the tears of worry seemed to wrap around your name as he called it.

You slowly lifted your head up.
"What? Oh yes... Im okay.."

"Your okay...?
Don't lie to me... You can cry if you want to... I promise I'll hold you." He reassured you, a spark of comfort formed in his eyes.
"I promise I'll always hold you.."

You could tell from his previous actions that death... The act and the process it self had not and would not fade him.
But if there's one thing he remained strong and fully capable of.. It was love.

"Honestly.... I'm really... Alright." You looked into his eyes, a way of connecting honesty with doubt.
And he simply nodded.

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The shower.... A warm, misty, heaven of thought.

A place where a mind was as free as the water that seeped down your skin.

A place where the hot steam and trickling droplets could send you into a trance.

It's how your story began here... And it's how your story will end..

So at that time... With the water elegantly forming pools in your palms as you cupped them in the air.... You thought.

In the beginning of your life you cried... A thing all baby's do.. And a thing all humans eventually do... But the thing about the feelings that trail behind each tear.. Is that they are so mindlessly there.

But what happens when a feeling is absent? What happens when a human trait is just not there?

Is it insanity or.. Just the way they are? Is it a bad thing or.. Is it better for them to just not be there?

And if a man is so blank, so effortlessly empty...

Yet plays and charms like a poker game....

Then what might we deduce about his heart?