Once Upon A Forever (Preview)

Chapter One

 Follow me into my dreams


there you will discover all of me

Emma

Present Day

I've always loved him. I didn't know that then. To be honest, I wasn't at all too sure. Back then, I was young and full of silly dreams. I never knew how strong the power of true love could be. Not really. And, I'd never expected to fall in love, especially with him.

But, I suppose that's how true love is.

Unexpected.

And, forever.

Those moments, with him, are the ones that haunt me. And yet, they are the very moments in my life that have brought me the greatest joy.

I can only tell you what I remember. Most memories have faded, and the ones that continue to linger in my head torment me. Still, there are a few that are good. Those I keep well hidden for the fear that they too will escape me.

And, no matter how hard I try to erase the past, for the sake of my future, it's not possible. The past can't be changed.

All I ever wanted was to be left alone, with my thoughts and my dreams. I knew falling for him would be my demise. That's why I tried to keep my distance. But the universe never gives you what you want. It gives you want you need. And, I've never needed anything more than to forget. Forget him. And, forget how much I loved him. The not forgetting has been harder than the actual memory itself. Knowing him, his touch, had created a yearning so deep, it cut deep into my soul, caching inside of me forever.

It all seemed like a bad dream. Something I couldn't escape no matter how hard I've tried. And somehow, what we had, reminds me of what my parents once had:

A love unbound by time.

I'd never understood how my mother could love my father so deeply, unconditionally, even during his darkest moments. My parents had loved each other to a point of obsession and hurt each other with the same amount of impetuous passion. Somehow, through it all, my mother held on to her love for my father. Even when he left us. Her love for him remained. Every day for the last four years, she hoped on his return, expected it. Lived for it.

But it never came.

Even now, while I stare at my mother, dressed in her favorite red dress, and completely, irrevocably dead, I can't help but wonder if love had finally killed her. I lean over, expecting her to open her eyes and ask me to help her sit up. But, she doesn't.

I'm supposed to say goodbye to her, but I'd already said my goodbyes; long before she died. I go through the motions anyway; kneel down at her casket, say a prayer, and then, I rise and make my way outside of the funeral home.

The stares of the mourners are unnerving; people who are more surprised than I am of my return to Ash Falls. I know what they're thinking. Why aren't I crying? But, even I can't truly answer that. My heart has been numb for so long, that any answer I'd give would be biased.

I try not to make eye contact with my sister who is red in the face, eyes puffed, and blowing her nose. It's the first time I've seen her since I left four years ago. She looked exactly like I remember, but older. I would never have believed it if I hadn't seen it for myself, but there she was, flesh and blood. I know I should be feeling something. But, the truth is, I didn't know how to feel anymore. I had been angry for so long that I was numb. I hadn't felt anything in a long time.