Behind Blue Eyes

3. Feast

REMUS
It was like we had been dancing naked together. Well, not fully naked, mind you, but something of the sort. I planned to write all about it in my journal that first night back at Hogwarts.

Acting as if nothing had even happened, I quietly changed right near Sirius. I tried not to look. He was skinny, like me. It was weird to see a chest without scars, however. My awful scars. How I hated what they've made me into.

"All set, then?" Sirius was adjusting his Gryffindor tie in the mirror.

"Hold on, you...you've got it wrong, Sirius. Let me see," I said in a low voice, taking a step toward him.

"What, what's wrong with it? I think I look just fine." He cheesed at himself in the mirror.

Trust me, you look more than fine, I said, in my head.

I silently untied his tie from underneath the sweater vest, then redid it. It was a challenge, with the robes on; but I managed. Once I was nearly done, I looked up at him; I was so close to him, I just wanted to pull him so up tight and personal to me. Chest to chest. God, I needed to step back. What was I doing? I stopped my tying up job and pushed my bangs back behind my better ear.

"I'm sorry," I muffled. I could feel myself burning. Galloping Gargoyles, this was bad. "I may have screwed it up."

Sirius gave it a look. "No, you've got it. Just missed one loop. See..." He finished the job, then looked at me with shrugged shoulders. "Easy." He then put his arm around me and ruffled my hair with a hand. "Come on, let's get on back before they get suspicious, huh?"

I forced a little laugh. "Yes, of course." I happily let him mess with my hair, and I tucked myself under his arm as if I was a baby bird.

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Before I knew it, we were sat at the Gryffindor dining table at the Great Hall. I had tried to get a spot by Sirius, but Peter was first to the empty spot. I sat across them both, next to Lily and James.

Professor Dumbledore was finishing his first speech. "And without further adieu, I now welcome our first years with our first formal meal as a school. Let us now feast."

Just as he ceased his speech, fruits, veggies, and meats formed at the empty plates placed at each table. Glasses filled with a red liquid, and utensils unfolded themselves from napkins.

"Thank heavens, I'm starved." Sirius was the first to dig into anything, forking some steak tips onto his plate. "Want any, Remus?"

I may have blushed again. Damned excessive blood flow to my cheeks. I stammered, "Oh, y-yes, thank you. Just a little is fine. Cheers to our fifth year, right?" I held up my glass, hoping he would do the same.

"Ah! Cheers." We clinked glasses, then sipped simultaneously. "Mmm. Cherry!"

Suddenly, that monthly sinking feeling hit like a brick. Tonight was the night. I felt faint, and I didn't want to eat anymore. I needed Professor Gleason's Wolfsbane potion immediately. I stood up, speechless. "I..."

Sirius looked at me while stuffing his face. I couldn't look at him for very long before turning away. "What..." His voice trailed off as did mine, and I could tell he knew. "Right. Let's get you going, then." He stood with me, offering to walk me to see Professor Gleason at the High Table.

Sirius would come outside with me, often. So I wasn't alone when it happened. Going outdoors on full moon nights was forbidden for all faculty and students, but he would do it anyway. He would disguise himself as a black dog.

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