The Devil wanted the bright and lovely Cassy for a bride. Instead, he got a neurotic trickster as a roommate for six months out of the year. He's not happy about it, and neither is Louie.
Song Selection: The Devil Went Down to Georgia— The Charlie Daniels Band
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"Taste this." The dark young man leans forward and spoons a piping heap of pork rib into my mouth. I bite into the slow-roasted meat, sweet and spicy sauce oozing down my face, and he softly wipes it off my chin with a paper napkin.
"Fuck, that's delicious."
We're eating barbecue in Sussex, Virginia, me and the Devil. It's a rare excursion for him to take me up to the surface, even rarer for him to buy me a meal. He's looking at me with an expression I can't read, his hat shadowing his now dark, almost human eyes.
I steal another bite of his pork rib, my burger going cold. "Are you trying to show me why you hang around the South in all those stories?"
"Mmm." He closes his eyes after another fork-full, giving a happy moan. "I go where there's good food. Maybe I ought not to keep challenging fiddlers, though. It's giving me a bad reputation."
I laugh and he pulls his plate away from me.
"You ready to break into heaven?"
I swallow. "Huh?"
"You stole the keys. It's not like I can go there; I'll burn up on sight. But you're a mortal, and with my help, you'll break in easy. Have some of the cornbread."
The only reason I notice my mouth is hanging open is that it's filled with sweet, cakey cornbread the next moment, and Lucifer is looking at me through long dark lashes. I make a happy little sound, and he stands up, laying a crisp $100 dollar bill on the table. His plate is utterly clean. "Ready, pet?"
Pet is definitely new. I take a last bite and scurry after him, every eye in the diner on us. He certainly is a terrifying presence, if only a tall man in a black hat. "You're being oddly nice."
"I have come to the sad realization that I respect you." He sighs as he throws the door open, the sky a misty gray and the sound of thunder coming from somewhere far away. "Ready?"
"I'm not doing this for you, you know. It would be bad if whatever came from the multiverse destroyed our world. That's all. And if there's another whole flood scenario, I'm definitely going down."
He touches my head, and ZAP! Everything becomes gray and static. My eyes won't shut, I don't even know what I'm looking at when my face smashes into the ground and my body is shot into the air. I'm floating; I look down at my arms, covered in small wavy-lined burns and I know. I've been struck by lightning. My body is on the ground, a small crumpled blob. And soon it's gone. Just clouds, stairs, and tall gates, tall as the eye can see.
Panic. I wave the keys, yelling to whoever might hear me. "Uh, I'm authorized! I'm authorized!"
I hear a sigh. It's the angel I stole them from, leaning against the gate. "Just give those back."
"Only if I get to see what weird stuff is coming in."
"Demons burn when they come beyond these gates. Do you know how much of your humanity is even left?"
"At least half."
"Are you sure about that?"
I nod, hold my head up, and step along the fluffy clouds. Fake it 'til you make it.
"Hand me the keys."
I feign handing them over and plunge them into the keyhole. His voice bellows behind me, but I push the door open and race past him. There are angels everywhere, laughing and talking, lounging along the steps of great white pyramids. And in the middle of the square, a reptilian form, no larger than a big dog. Sharp teeth, grey skin, slit goat-like eyes and four stumpy legs. The angels crowd around it, their wings outstretched.
I squeeze through them. The thing, this dragon-like creature, is in a cage.
"It crashed here." The angel halts behind me. "Nothing crashes here. Nothing in this universe can interact with us like that, but it has. And so do you, oddly."
"Uh-huh." I stick my fingers in that cage. It whines, staring up at me with its odd goat eyes. Help me, human.
I stumble back. I've never heard a voice in my head before, though I've never been bound to a supernatural underworld force either before last year, so hey. We're all learning.
"Do you hear it?"
I want to go home.
I stroke his scaley back. "Where's home?"
"Huh?" asks the angel. Words bubble up from the surrounding crowd, a light, delicate murmur.
I don't know. I'm scared.
"Talking. Does it talk to you?"
"No." The angel scoffs. "What, can you hear it?"
Help me.
I clear my throat. "I'm taking him. We're getting pork rib together."
The angel draws a sword from his sheath. "I will not give it to Lucifer's bride."
"That would be 'husband,' and I'm not—"
Help me. The animal's eyes widen. Please.
"—I mean, okay, yes, he dotes on me and listens to everything I say, but we haven't had the wedding yet, so I wouldn't call it that." I cross my fingers. "We're like this. Now perhaps we can strike a deal?"
The angel's eyes roam over me. "Perhaps."
***
It's night when I return, the small dragon plodding at my feet. Lucifer sits on a rock, gliding his rosined bow along his fiddle's strings. His eyes are shut, the music frantic and powerful. I sit down at his feet, stroking the gray scales of the ancient thing I've won.
"How'd you do it?" he asks, his eyes still closed.
I start to laugh.
He sets down his fiddle. "What did you do?"
I stretch out, staring up at the stars. "Don't worry. I'm sure you're still going to 'sadly respect' me."
He levels me an icy glare, so I continue.
"You're no longer allowed to steal souls from the South. No more Georgia fiddle competitions for you." I smirk. "I'd say it's a mercy."
The Devil roars so loud it sounds more like wolf's howl. "If I were you, I'd run."
