Just leave me alone!

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When we get back to the ship I go strait to my room and I sit down on my bed.

I light the lantern that hangs on the wall over my bed. I pick up peter pan and start reading. But my mind keeps wondering to who I might be going to. And what I should pack, and by that what books I should take.

I decide to go through all my books.

I place all my books on the floor in front of my bed. In total there are seventy. And I hope I won't be there long so I'll take ten, maybe fifteen.

I automatically choose the killing of the killer and peter pan. Then I stair at them.

I feel my throat tighten, my cheek start to burn, and then... out of nowhere... my eyes feel with tears. I let a tiny squeak out.

I grab my pillow and bury my face into it.

"I - I don't want to do!" I say in a loud quiet voice.

Another squeaks slips out, and another, then they come like a flood, "I don't want to!"

I push my face into the pillow more. Then I feel my blanket draped around me. I don't want to look up but I know someone has just sat down next to me.

I shake my head in my pillow, "I don't want to go," I say.

"I'll try to change his mined. You should of told me you had magic," Milah says, she places her arm around me and pulls me in.

I rest my head on her chest.

"I – I thought it went away, Papa has never liked it m-much."

"oh darling," she says, her hand glides over my head.

"who – who am I going to?" I ask.

"I don't know sweetheart."

I place my pillow over my stomach then I wrap one arm around her. Which just bring tears about my mother.

I wake up on my bed with the tiniest bit of light creeping through. I look to the floor. All my books are stacked in small stacks.

I roll over to the edge of the bed.

"nah," I say to myself.

Then there is a nock on my door.

I close my eyes but keep one open just enough to see who it is.

The door open and the person steps in.

"Morning sweetie," Milah says.

"Morning.." I mumble into my pillow.

"Listen," she says, that automatically makes me not want to listen, "Your farther," and there goes the rest of my will to listen. What even she says next is just a bunch of blurred words, which I nod to in agreement.

"So you're ok?" she asks when my ears finally tune back in.

I nod again.

"Then get ready," she tells me and leaves.

I groan and roll back onto my back.

"I wish I was in Nederland," I mumble, looking at my Peter Pan book.

'Come on then,' I hear, making me sit up and look around.

"Who's there?" I whisper.

I hold my breath, waiting for an answer but I don't get one.

I stand up and turn around in a full circle, making sure no one's there.

"You guys are arsis," I say, aiming it at the crew.

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