Bang bang bang!!!! My mother came barging in my room at 11pm in the night....all I can remember is that I came from school depressed asf and went to sleep after having a breakdown and burning myself."what the fuck I hear about you barging out of class" my mom said angrily, "these two girls disrespected me, what did I do something wrong" I said sarcastically rolling my eyes as I always do when people irritate me.
"Ion give a fuck next time you better stay in class or am coming up there to beat your ass in front of everybody you worthless piece of a daughter, I work so hard just for you and this is how you repay me by skipping school and walking out of class" she said storming out of my room....as she came out a tear slipped out of my eye....am used to this kind of abuse by now but what breaks my heart is me thinking how I don't deserve it...am crying out for help and she doesn't even notice.....why do I have to exist in such a horrible world.
Am so alone.... And just then I thought of an idea there is apps to make friends on....so I downloaded an app called friends4friends...it seemed cool and I was pretty interested in it...as I opened the app I signed up and started getting random text messages from a whole bunch of people and for the first time in my life...my life felt not so boring.
I opened a message from Zach...he was pretty... he was a white boy with blond hair and we were hitting it off pretty good until he asked for a picture...I was nervous but I wanted to put myself out there and I did......I sent the picture just to get blocked. It felt like I got a punch in my heart...why do bad things always happen to me this is so fucking hurtful.
Sigh I just want a friend....honestly because of that experience I didn't talk to the rest of boys that texted me thinking that it would turn out how it did with Zach...but as I was scrolling through the app I saw this pretty girl and she lived in the same state as me so I texted her asking her if she wants to hang out just to get seen......
It's funny right???? No matter how I try things never goes good for me....so I deleted the app and just went to watch euphoria it's crazy how much I relate to Cassie ....from wanting validation from people to pouring my heart out into everyone to get nothing back.
Why do girls like us have to suffer silently and act like everything is ok??
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