Bright Lights, Red Eyes | Ruel Van Dijk

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Hey, my name is Y/n. I live in Tampa, Florida and tomorrow I get to see my favorite artist. It's been four years since I knew about him, and honestly he helped me through my family's shit. Let's go back through my trauma...

2021, June 5th

My aunt walks into my living room and tells me to pack. What the fuck does she think she's doing here? I stormed into my room and began packing a suitcase. I'm so over this shit. Every time my grandmother and I get into an argument, which leads into me losing my job she always comes down and "saves" me. All I hear from her is a lecture about how I need to be respectful even though she can mentally and verbally abuse me through her drunk words. God, I can't wait for the day I turn 18 and move out when I'm done with high school. I finished packing all I needed and grabbed my phone, headphones, and laptop. I did not speak to my aunt the whole way to Nashville, I'm so done being where I don't want to be at. This shit happens every fucking year, like take a goddamn break.

On our flight, I took my phone out of my pocket and put my headphones on bluetooth and drowned out my aunt from talking to me by listening to Ruel. I'm so lucky to have his music really save me everyday. I chose Not Thinkin' Bout You and queued Don't Tell Me, Say, Younger, Painkiller, Face To Face, Free Time, and Hard Sometimes. However, As Long As You Care is one of my top favorites.

4 Hours Later

Ugh, I'd rather be homeless right now than be in Nashville. My aunt keeps trying to make me talk but I don't care. She got so frustrated with me that she took my phone out of my hand and my headphones ripped out of my ears.

Y/n: "OW! What the fuck!?"

Aunt: "Excuse me? What is wrong with you? You treat your grandmother like shit!"

Y/n: "Because she doesn't deserve my respect! She can't treat me like that either and think that everything will go her way!"

Aunt: "And you just lost your laptop too!"

Y/n: "That's not fair!"

Aunt: "Life isn't fair, get over it."

Y/n: "Fuck you." I murmured and she glared at me.

I don't feel like explaining everything else that happened.

2023, June 5th

God, I can't believe that was two years ago. Now that I graduated high school they can't do shit now! They decided to be assholes once again and guess what I did, not invite them. They can suck my- Anyways, I am super excited to finally see Ruel. I couldn't get a VIP pass, but I am going to be there early enough to be at the barricade. Oh I will not be able to sleep tonight or tomorrow. I pulled out my phone, connected my AirPods and started to play If And/Or When from his new album 4TH WALL and started to hum along to it. I walked around downtown, just looking around and heading into shops.

I could imagine you breakin' my heart
Those things can happen whenever you hold on too hard
I'm not a pessimist, I'm just a mess in the dark, oh-oh
Tend to get anxious when something begins
'Cause I know the chances of stayin' together are slim
The odds against us but I'll make the best of whatever this is

Oh-oh, ooh-ooh-ooh
Tired of writin' in pencil, I'm inkin' you in, oh
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Livin' like I'm not afraid of the end
Afraid of the end, afraid of the end
If, and, or, when
Can we just pretend we're not afraid of the end?

What if you met someone else at your work?
Someone more stable and better at puttin' you first
You could lose patience while I'm on the other side of the Earth

I stopped humming as I got to the line of a store with a couple souvenirs for friends that haven't visited Florida. Soon enough I checked out and started heading back to my car and started humming along to another song.

I'm sun-dried
My lips are high on overdrive
I'm so tired
I'm sorry if I'm low on confidence, I left at midnight
I'm sorry, but my brain is fried
I haven't seen your face in miles and miles
Always on a different continent, but don't forget me now
Or ever, 'cause I know, I know

As long as you care
You have no idea
It's all bright lights and red eyes
Bright lights and red eyes
I'm never there

I stopped humming at the moment when...