The Beauty of Coincidence | manxman | (Historical Fiction)

XLVIII - Once a Fool

"I would like it very much, my lord," Todd said, voice rather fretted, "if you would allow me to accompany you up north. It is not to say I particularly miss the City of Childermass, but it would be the first time you've left anywhere without me."

As the footman stood in the doorway of Victor's bedroom chamber, picking almost nervously at his fingernails, the young lord busied himself in deciding what nightgown he would pack away in his luggage. "And I've always appreciated your constant company," Victor said, deciding upon a rather new one whose material was a light blue. "But with Evie in the manor with baby Evelyn, I would be most comfortable if you were to remain at her side. She is rather fond of you, and will require a hand in caring for herself even if she often refuses such."

"But, my lord..."

Todd stilled his words and let them hang in the air a moment.

He didn't want to feel like he was pestering, but there was a far more grim reason as to why he wished to remain at the young lord's side. In truth, there'd never been much time that'd gone by through the years where they were not in the same vicinity, same home, same region. The furthest distance he could ever recall spending away from Victor was when they hadn't known one another when they were mere infants, or when Victor used to remain in the city at the home Reynold once occupied before ultimately returning to the manor not long after.

It was a difficult task to merely accept that such a great distance would be placed between them, especially when understanding where exactly Victor was headed off to. From what memories and past Todd had lived through at Victor's side in such a place, the City of Childermass was the place of nightmares, and the caster of such nightmares and once torturous days and nights resided there. Although Victor was returning there with Reynold in tow, with Norman likely there, Todd was sure it wasn't an easy task for Victor to realize who else would be within the walls of his childhood home.

Ida and Abraham Kershaw would be there, the two people Todd had not only witnessed but also received such harshness from as well. He knew of the welts Victor had taken as a boy and never spoken of, knew of the other attempts made on his life, the cruel words and punishments all handed down behind the back of Norman Ramsey.

So many times through those painful years, Todd had wanted to confess to Norman of the things Ida and Abraham had done, but always kept his mouth sealed at the behest of Victor himself. As Victor had gotten older, the physical violence put toward him had ceased, but the words of hatred remained, and while Todd wanted to believe the physical violence wouldn't be put against him again, he couldn't imagine being able to rest easy in ignorance while so far away.

After his chosen nightgown was folded and tucked away in the case he would be taking, Victor faced Todd who still stood just about defiant in the doorway. In that instant, the young lord couldn't help but visualize Todd in different stages of their life together. Waking up in the morning to an eager little boy who wanted to run about the lands as friends, the young adolescent stood watching him cry after a yelling and a beating, or the young man knelt sobbing at his bedside after his fall...

"Todd?" Victor called from the foot of the bed.

"Yes, my lord?"

"Do you love me?"

Todd blinked almost incredulously at the question.

He thought it was a bit of a ridiculous question. Had their years together not already shed light onto what sort of answer would follow those words?

"Why, of course, my lord," Todd said, and then he entered the bedroom further. When he was at Victor's side, their eyes met and suddenly — it was as if he could finally see how very different they were.