TweetyGram

2 - #TweetyWolf

My phone screen went white. A millisecond later, the app's logo and tagline appeared in the middle.

TweetyGram

Where Everyone Can Be Famous

I stared at the cat who was busy grooming herself on my couch. "Say, Princess Tortie."

The chubby cat stopped licking her groin and tilted her head at me. Her left leg was still up in the air, and her private area was covered only by her right paw.

"How many followers do you have now? Are you TweetyFamous already?"

According to her obnoxious human dad, Princess Tortie had had 999,998 followers last week. With the way Jake promoted his beloved cat's TweetyGram account, I wouldn't be surprised if it had surpassed one million followers by now.

"Meow." Princess Tortie's response was short and firm, almost as if she were saying yes.

I let out a chuckle and returned my attention to the task at hand. TweetyGram's tagline had been replaced by two bright-colored buttons that said Log In and Create a New Account. I tapped the second button, which took me to the register page.

I had no intention of making friends (or finding old friends), so I refrained from using my real name on the app.

Username: @GingerbreadSmoothie

"Well, well, well." Jake peeked at my phone and smirked. His hair had been rinsed, although still damp and messy, and his face had been shaved clean. "Look who's finally succumbing to peer pressure and joining TweetyGram."

I dragged my chair away from him. "It's for work."

"Work?"

"Mm-hmm. My editor asked me to write an article about TweetyGram."

"Ah, I see." He plopped on the stool next to me and tossed a pancake ball into his mouth. "Don't forget to give Princess Tortie a follow. Her username is PrincessTortieCafferty."

It was quite adorable, really.

I lifted my glass to hide my smile. "What about your username?"

"CrazyCatDaddy."

I spluttered into my apple juice while Bree tried her best to restrain an amused smile.

"Pretty smart pun, right?" Confidence shone in Jake's cookie-monster-blue eyes, and his grin stretched from ear to ear.

I chuckled. "Your obsession with cats is starting to scare me a little."

"Ah, come on," he dismissed my comment with a wave of his hand. "Just admit it. You think it's adorable."

"Pfft. In your dreams." I shook my head and continued setting up my TweetyGram account.

After I typed in my password and email address, the app asked me to upload a profile picture. Since I preferred to be anonymous, I skipped it.

A list of recommended users to follow then appeared: Serena Lopez, Ariadne Venti, Henry Stickles, Luciano Rolando, and a bunch of other people I'd never heard of. Having no intention of prying into those famous people's lives, I hit next without scrolling through the list.

The app then asked me to choose five or more topics I was interested in. The first thing I searched for was crime, but surprise, surprise. It wasn't on the list.

Great. How am I supposed to find anything newsworthy here?

As I propped my chin on my palm, my gaze drifted to the TweetyGram addict next to me. "Hey, Goldilocks. How many people have been murdered because of TweetyGram?"