Hold my hand

October

I fall deeply in love with autumns charms, beautiful sunsets and excitement of the months which lay ahead. Harry is still at the front of my head controlling and seeping into my thoughts, I'm no longer obsessed I just care. Care too much.

I'm bored and lonely all at once, I need someone... Maybe anyone will do. I am slowly slipping back into self harming and eating nothing, no one can love me this way. I'm shrouded by a black veil which I can't lift with simple conquests of sex. Marjiuana helps if only for an hour, I need more from life.

Dating sites are strange but not scary, you get weirdos but you get the exact same thing in real life, everyone knows this. I make a profile, lie profusely on it to make myself want able and watch as the guys start with their cringe-worthy lines that no girl wants to hear. But I listen anyway. OK no one appeals but it's a confidence boost having successful older guys wanting to take me on dates.

My first date is with an assistant managing director of a company, I play up to the situation. He wines and dines me, tells me he's 26 and that I'm beautiful. He's great, tall athletic body which you can't help but want on top of you, gorgeous face and a good bank balance apparently. If I didn't know differently I would say I was in love with this guy. Dan the 26 year old God, that's him.

Lying about my age meant nothing to him he still whisked me to bed and fucked me with an undeniably glorious skill and talent. Leaving my head spinning and my body aching for more. But of course no one could find out I was his little slut, I didn't care I would be his sex toy all he wanted.

Dan would pick me up from home in the dark and take me to the pub so we could relax, I was feeling daring one night so crawled under the table we were sat at. I had already been rubbing him though his jeans and he was hard. Thrill ran down my spine as I undid his jeans and took his gorgeous cock in my hands.

But males grow bored of the same girl and he could have his pick of the bunch, unfortunately he got tired of my needy ways and discarded me. But a girl should never limit herself to talking to just one boy should they?

All of a sudden along come November and Greg.