"Always in Pimchi's mind"
Engfa's POV
I was doing a live show so I could talk to my fans because I'm bored. My girl is still on her schedule right now, and I've got nothing to do, so I decided to talk to my fans.
While reading some comments a request join popped up and it's pimjira's requesting to join and I accepted her request. She's with someone (sorry Idk who she is :< ) she's in shock when she realized that I accepted her request.
"Hii!" I lively said and then we started talking about some topics.
We talked about the variety show of MGT 2023, which is The Grand House, and I also said that I'll be going there and staying there for one night. I'm not sure if Charlotte's going with me, but I'm sure she will. It made me smile.
We talked and talked, and I teasingly said that I'm always on Pimjira's mind. It made her blush, but I only said it for fun. After a few minutes, we decided to end the live broadcast now and say our goodbyes to our viewers.
After ending the live, I realized that Charlotte texted me saying that she'd just go straight home because she's tired, but I felt something was wrong.
She's usually not like this; she's not the type of person who texts me in a cold way. Shit, I think she's sulking again.
Did I do something that made her mad again?
I replied to her, saying that it was okay and I understood, and she didn't see it; maybe she's already sleeping. I'll just give her space and visit her tomorrow so we can be okay again.
I washed my face and removed my make-up before brushing my teeth, and after that I crawled down to my bed and drifted to dreamland.
On the other hand.....
( I suggest you to play the song attached on the top before continuing reading this <3 )
Charlotte's POV
After my schedule was done, I went to the comfort room and stayed there for a while, checking myself in the mirror in front of me.
I opened my phone and went to the Blue Bird app for updates. While scrolling, I came across a video of P'fa having a live chat with Pimjira and a girl, and P'fa saying that she's always on Pimjira's mind, and it made me feel something and I saw some tweets saying that Engfa deserves someone who's not me.
I began to feel insecure again, a feeling I never wanted to experience again. I shook my head, wanting to erase it from my head, but I just couldn't, so I decided to go home.
I changed into comfortable clothes and went out of the comfort room to get my things. After getting all of my things, I bid my goodbyes to the staff and thanked them for their hard work for today.
I went to the parking lot to find my car, but it's hard looking for it; it's annoying. After a few minutes, I finally found my car, went in, put my bag on the passenger seat, started the engine, and drove away.
After a few minutes of driving, I finally arrived at my condominium building, parked my car, and went out of it with my bag in my hand.
I went inside the building and greeted some staff in the lobby before going into the elevator. I pushed the button for my floor, and after a few seconds, I arrived at my floor and directly went inside of my unit, wanting to take a bath already so I could sleep early tonight.
Before going to the bathroom, I texted P'fa that I wouldn't be able to go to her home and told her I was tired.
After taking a bath, I wore one of my nightgowns, and it's my favorite one. I went directly to my bed and stared at the ceiling of my room.
All of those memories of mine that I never wanted to think about again flashed right into my eyes.
- F L A S H B A C K -
Year 2018
While I was walking through the hallways of the university, I went with my friend, Marima. We talked about where we were going right now to eat our lunch because it's our lunch time right now.
We decided to go to the rooftop because today is very windy and it's not that hot. Also, our rooftop has a shed where we can stay and sit under it.
I lead the way, and Marima is just following me, talking about how her morning went earlier. We arrived at the rooftop, and I opened the door and saw two people: a guy and a girl, and the back of the guy is facing us right now, so I couldn't see who the guy is. They were kissing until the girl saw me and quickly pushed the guy lightly on his shoulder. The girl whispered something to his ear, and the guy looked at us, and I never knew that I would see Louise, my boyfriend. I felt like my world collapsed as he turned around slowly to face us.
He looked at me with anger in his eyes.
He yelled at me, "Why are you here?!" and I was unable to respond because tears were blurring my vision.
"Let's break up, Charlotte. I don't need you anymore." When he said those words, that's when my tears fell from my eyes, and Marima slapped him with the food tray she's holding before hugging me and assisting me to go down the building. We went out of the university, going to the parking lot, and Marima gently let me sit on the passenger seat of my car, and then she went in too and drove away.
"Am I not enough for him?" As my tears continued to fall and it began to rain, I muttered in my head, "I just wanted to be loved" feeling a small amount of solace from the fact that nature appeared to be crying alongside me.
After what happened, Marima stayed by my side the whole night, comforting me while I was crying. I'm really grateful that I have a friend like Marima, and until now, she's always been by my side whenever I needed her. She will always be one of my safe havens.
- E N D O F F L A S H B A C K -
- B A C K T O P R E S E N T -
It took a huge toll on me before and even now, after what happened. I became wary of people, and it took me a long time to trust someone and let someone into my life again, which is P'fa. I recalled that in the past, I had developed a fear of commitment and experienced an extreme drop in confidence due to the belief that I would never be good enough for someone.
My eyes watered from the flashback I had minutes ago, and now I'm overthinking.
'What if I'm not enough for her? '
'What if she got tired of me just like Louise did? '
'What if she found someone else? '
I was filled with what-if scenarios and was unable to stop crying until I was exhausted.
Tonight, I cried myself to sleep.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Actually, this should be a one-shot, but I decided to add one chapter so it will end great and won't end brokenhearted. I never wanted to write this kind of chapter, so please spare me. I hope y'all will look forward to the next and last chapter!
- itsdriaaaa_
