Ranjish He Sahi

Dil Dukhane Ke Liye

Meerab looked at her phone, hoping it would ring and a familiar name would pop up. The rains outside had been slowly increasing in intensity and that had also contributed to making her mood sombre. She thought back on the last conversation she'd had with him before he'd left hastily. 

"Meerab, tum unrealistic ban rahi ho yahan. Meine aaj take tumhare saare decisions ko support kiye hai, likin ek baar jab mujhe zaroorat hai ki tum situation ko rationally socho, tum sunna he nai chahti ho yaar!"
(Meerab, you're being unrealistic here. I've been supporting every decision of yours, but the one time I need you to think rationally, you're unwilling to listen!)

"Seriously Murtasim? Mein irrational ho rahi hoon? Tum mujhe keh rahe ho ki tum mujhe gaon like nehi chal sakti kyuki tumhe lagta hai ki meri soch tumhare faislon ke khilaaf jayenge?" (Seriously Murtasim? I'm being irrational? You're saying I can't accompany you to the village only because you think my ideals will clash with your verdicts?)

"Nehi, who baat.."
(No that's not..)

"Mujhe tumhara koi baat nehi sunna hai Murtasim. Mein saath chal rahi hu, bass that's it."
(I'm not listening to what you have to say, Murtasim. I'm going, that's it.)

"Nehi, tum nehi chal rahi ho. Mein tumhe nehi leke jaunga mere saath."
(No, you're not. I'm not taking you with me.)

"Mein khud drive karke ja sakti hoon wahan ya driver bhi mujhe leke jaa sakta hai."
(I can always drive there on my own or get the driver to take me.)

She noticed Murtasim getting flustered with her answers. But she was adamant. She wanted to go to the village because she was sure he'd pass a verdict that would be shrouded in his feudal mentality and that would in turn prolong the animosity with the Maliks. 

Realising that force wouldn't work, she tried being soft and rational, "Murtasim, mein koi problems nehi create karungi tumhare liye. Mujhe bass wahan rehna hai jab koi faisle liya ja raha ho. Biwi hoon mein tumhare, kya mujhe wahan rehna ka koi haq nehi?"
(Murtasim, I won't create problems for you. I just want to be there when the decisions are made. I'm your wife, don't I get to be there with you?)

She noticed Murtasim's gaze soften towards her, the moment she mentioned 'wife.'

Taking one hand of hers into his and placing his other hand on her cheek, he said softly, "Meerab, please. Tum janti ho ki agar mein tumhe leke chal sakta, toh zaroor jata. Likin, yeh Maliks, especially who Zubair ek accha insaan nehi hai aur usne mujhe kayi baar dhamki bhi di hai ki mere ghar ke aurton ko who nuqsaan pohcha sakta hai. Mein hargis us situation mein tumhe phirse nehi dal sakta."
(Meerab, please. You know I wouldn't mind taking you if I could. But, the Maliks, particularly Zubair isn't the best person to be around and he's threatened me quite a few times about hurting the women in my family. I couldn't possibly put you through that, ever again.)

Meerab looked at him and noticed a twinkle in his eyes. Slowly placing her other hand on his hand and lightly pressing it, she said,  "Murtasim, tum rahoge na mere saath. Mujhe aitmaad hai tumpe, ki tum kabhi kuch hone nehi doge..aur..."
(You'll be there with me, Murtasim. I trust you. You'd never let anything happen..and..)

He pulled his hand away and abruptly said, "Meerab, no. Bas bohot hogai ye fazul ki discussion aur meine decide kar liya hai, tum mere saath nehi chal rahe."
(Meerab, no. I'm done with this discussion and you're not going with me.)

Meerab was taken aback by his sudden change in demeanour. What happened? Did he remember that incident?

"Kya tumhe mujhpe bharosa nehi hai, Murtasim?"
(You don't trust me, Murtasim?)

He just looked at her, with a piercing gaze that seemed to want to say so much yet remained silent, sighed and left the room, leaving her to stand there, staring at the space he'd left behind after walking out.

She looked at her phone again. 9:45 pm. Ting. A message popped. 'Mein kal aunga. Aaj bohot baarish ho rahi hai, wapas jaane layak nehi honge raste. Mein gaon ke ghar mein ruk raha hoon.'
(I'll come tomorrow. It's been raining too heavily, and I won't be able to make it back. I'm staying over at the village home.)

She felt relieved to know he was okay but also unhappy because their conversation remained incomplete. 

He never replied to her question; did he not trust her? Even after all this time? 

Moist eyes, her mind slowly wandered back to what had happened, a few months back. 

P.S. - Both my Hindi and Urdu are a little weak, so please, bear. I've added the English translations as well, in case of any confusion.