Destined Assassins ✓

Selfish?

Sthembiso's POV

"Mamá I'm hungry." she says and my eyes widen in shock. I'm trying to find the right words to formulate my sentence but they just won't come out. Amu carries her and puts her on the counter. "Okay let me make you noddles. Is it fine?" she asks and her daughter nods. It's too soon to call her mine and what if it's not true.

She goes to the cupboard and takes out the noddles and a pot. She fills the pot with water and puts it on the stove and puts the noodles inside. Meanwhile I'm just starring at this alleged daughter of mine and she is staring at me. She is her mother's photocopy that's for sure but there are also those features that show she looks like me and i see a hint of my mom in her.

"Mamá who is this man?" she asks. "Uhmm his a friend of mine." she answers. I look at her and she shrugs. "Do you want me to speak the truth then..." "Leave it." She sighs and continues stirring the noodles. After five minutes they are ready and she dishes up for her. "Thank you mamá."

"Okay go eat in the living room and I'll put your cartoons for you." says Amu. They walk to the living room and few minutes later she comes back and climbs the counter. I can see her from here and she is focussed on the food and tv. Cute.

"You can ask away." she says. "What do you want me to ask kahle kahle." I say. "Anything. I'm ready for whatever questions that you have." "I can't believe you lie to me for all these years and then you expect me to be calm about this situation." "Fight if you want Sthembiso just not in front of her." "What's her name?"

"Sinokuhle Asante Mngomezulu." she answers. "How old is she?" I ask. "She is two years and six months. She will be turning three in August." I do the quick calculation and it adds up. "So she's mine..." "I would never lie to you about this. There is nothing that I would be benefiting."

"Mihlali?" I ask. "She didn't know you were the father until recently but I asked her to not tell you because it's supposed to come from me." she answers. "Why now?" "The upcoming party for the twins motivated me but I felt like you need to know about her since she lives with me permanently." "Meaning?" "She used to live with my parents because of other reasons."

"So you telling me a week before the party so I have no choice but to accept it." I say. "It's not like that Sthembiso. I don't want to shove the responsibility of having a child down your throat. If you don't want to be apart of the child's life its fine but if you do I can give you space so you can process everything." "I didn't think you that selfish you know."

"Selfish how?" she asks. "The fact that you keep a secret for almost four years and pretend like everything is normal but it's not. That joke that I made of us being the only ones not having kids and you laughed but you knew the truth. You fucking selfish Amukelani. You don't think about anybody besides yourself." I say. "I'm sorry Sthembiso."

"And you think that sorry will work out for you. It won't. Sorry won't reverse time and it won't fix anything. Do you know how much I've missed out on her life." I say. "I know it won't do anything but please know that it comes from the bottom of my heart." "Your selfish heart?" "Yes that one. I'm sorry." I scoff and roll my eyes. "I'm out." "You not going to talk to her?" "Why should i?"

"Askies Sthembiso." (Sorry.) I roll my eyes and walk out without forgetting to slam the door. I take a deep breath in and exhale slowly. What the fuck just happened there? I thought that call was because there really is an emergency not some confessions party.