Chaewon decided to stop by in one of her favorite cafés near the campus. She was still a bit pissed off at Yunjin, but at the same time she was also shocked at what she had told her. She knew Yunjin meant well, but her being overprotective was getting irritating.
She knew she could be a clumsy person. She sometimes lived in her own world and she knew she was a bit naive and idealistic with how the world works, but she didn't need Yunjin to keep on holding her hand every time.
The funny thing was, Yunjin was trying to protect her from getting hurt when she was practically already there with her.
Stupid Yunjin! You're so stupid sometimes, you know that?
She wished she knew how to get rid of her feelings. She has been trying, but instead of stopping, it practically kept growing. She knew her best friend was rash and quick to make decisions without thinking things through, but despite all her rough edges, Yunjin was a kind-hearted person.
She had seen this first-hand when she volunteered at the orphanage, or tried to teach kids soccer for free. She always gave extra to those in need and who could forget the stray cats she adopted?
They were already five of them and she let Chaewon name the last three.
She was also easy to forgive and never gave up on the things she dreamed about, which Chaewon admired to no end. Plus, she was always there for her when no one was or could be.
Yunjin practically drops everything just to be by her side.
She wasn't that angry at her, just really frustrated.
She didn't understand the girl, she gave her mixed signals, sometimes acting one way and doing something else the next. Sometimes, she just wanted to tell her how she feels and to ask her what she thought of that.
Was she really that invested with her feelings with Kazuha?
It looked like it.
For her to confess would mean opening up her heart and telling Yunjin that she's ready and willing to have her rip it out of her.
Was she ready for that?
Was she ready to put her feelings out there and deal with the pain after?
Was she ready to put their friendship on the line?
Why must everything be so difficult? Can I just go back to the days where I just loved her as my best friend?
She wished she could, it would make things less complicated. But here she was, stuck at this very moment.
She wished Kazuha was here, but she knew she had to decide on her own. She drank the hot tea that she ordered earlier. She guessed she knew what she had to do. She was just scared, scared of what this might mean for their future.
Well, nobody is really ready for some things anyway. If she wanted to move on from this, she must do it. Even if it was going to be painful.
She finished her tea and got up. She knew where to go from here.
***
Chaewon got out of the cab and walked around near the benches of the riverbank. This was their spot and Chaewon was sure she would find her here.
She saw her. Her shoulders were slumped down and her eyes were looking at the water, but it was obvious that her mind was far away. Chaewon's heart went out to her, it was obvious that Yunjin was like this because of the fight they had earlier.
She slowly walked towards her and sat down beside her. She looked at her best friend, her face was sad, and it was obvious that she had been crying.
"Hey"
Yunjin snapped out of her reverie and turned to look at her.
"Unnie!" she said, as if she almost couldn't believe she was here.
"Just so you know, I'm not mad at you." she told her with big brown eyes.
"You're not?"
"No, just frustrated I guess."
Yunjin sighed, "I'm sorry Chaewon. I didn't want you to feel that way. I was stupid and you were right. I'm being a sucky best friend and I should trust you more with these things."
"It's okay, I understand."
"No, it's not. I should know where my limits are, and you should be free to be friends with who you want or even more than friends."
Chaewon smiled at this.
"Thank you Yunjin, I know you meant well. It was just getting a bit irritating and I just had enough. I couldn't understand why you were doing this."
"I'm sorry, Chaewon." she said softly.
"It's fine." then squeezed her hand, which Yunjin squeezed back.
"Also, I haven't been totally honest with you, Yunjin."
Yunjin looked at her in surprise.
"What do you mean?"
This was it. She gathered all her courage and strength just so she could do this. Her knees were getting wobbly but she had to keep her courage, she had to do this for herself.
"The truth is, I...I like you."
"Huh? What...what do you mean?"
"What I mean is, I like you, like more than a friend should. It has been this way for quite some time now, and trust me, I tried to stop it, I really did, but I couldn't. I know I'm not your type and you're my best friend and that scares me."
Yunjin looked at her, dumbfounded.
"Chaewon-"
Chaewon started crying.
"Oh baby" she laughed as she sniffled through her tears.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cry, you know how I am. But I am not expecting anything from you Yunjin, I just wanted to tell you, not because I am hoping for something more, but because I needed to do it for myself. You're one of the most important people to me and the thought of losing you frightens me more than anything. But I also owe it to myself that if you don't feel the same way, I also have to move forward so I can still remain the Chaewon that you can always rely on."
She smiled at her through the tears.
Yunjin held her hand tightly, and she brushed a strand of her hair out of her face.
"Chaewon, you're one of the most important people in my life too, and I want you to know, I would never think of leaving you for even a second." She started crying too.
"I also don't want to hurt you, seeing you in pain is something I never wish to go through. Believe me, it's one of the most unbearable things I have watched, and especially if I'm the one doing it, even if I didn't mean to."
Yunjin gritted her teeth.
"As much as I wish that I could return your feelings, I'm sorry but I can't. I don't want to tell you this but I'm really sorry Chaewon." She sobbed.
Chaewon hugged Yunjin who hugged her back tightly and they both cried.
It hurt Chaewon, it hurt a lot, but at the same time she felt relieved because at the end of it, she didn't lose her best friend.
She knew what she went here for and she was ready for it. But she knew it would take time to heal the hurt.
Especially with how Yunjin was holding her right now, like she was the most precious thing on Earth.
***
Author's note: Hi guys! This chapter is so heartbreaking. I've been in Chaewon's place and it's awful 🥲🥲🥲 Amygaaaays, I hope you enjoyed the chapters. I'll be updating probably on Tuesday or Wednesday x
