Adoration

O N E : Soon, So Soon.

Late August, unknown place, unknown time.

The first thing I felt was the cold cement under me. It was smooth, not like the rough cement of sidewalk, but the laminated cement you'd find in the boiler room of a school or the unfinished basement of a home in the suburbs. I could have easily been in a home in the suburbs, but the slight pounding in my head and the distant dripping that echoed around me was clue enough that I wasn't. I didn't open my eyes, hoping that the sounds around me could give me some idea as to where I was. I don't remember much, but my limbs are intact and I have a pulse, so there's that at least.

I should go back a little and explain the last things I remember, but what would be the point? A story should go forward, not backward. In an effort to paint a full picture of how in the dark I was, I'll describe what I can, since at this moment, pressed against the cement, my limbs heavier than I would have liked them to be, I had to go through those memories myself.

I walked through my front door, my apartment led out to an outdoor staircase covered by an awning. The buildings were connected by patches of sidewalk and staircases, my building was number 7. I had just gotten off of work, it was dark, drizzly, not cold, but not warm, and it was my last day of work according to my boss. My "attitude" was a "problem" as he had put it. That roughly translates to "you didn't stroke my ego when I sexually harassed you and now my big man feelings are hurt and you'll pay the price." I didn't care. Walking into my apartment, the last thing I cared about was how I was going to pay my bills, how I was going to feed myself, I only wanted the reprieve of my own blankets wrapped tightly around my body as I fell into a deep unconsciousness. I stepped slowly into my kitchen, exhausted from a long day of carrying trays, glad that I would never have to do it again, a mild anxiety was under the surface that I refused to acknowledge.

I saw the envelope with only my name in beautiful handwritten letters. No return address, no stamp, nothing. It sat in the middle of my counter as if it had been placed there with the utmost love and care. Panicked, I searched my apartment high and low, an old crow bar that I had grabbed from the top of my fridge in my hand, held up like a bat.

Part of me wanted someone to be in my apartment, someone I could take my frustration out on, someone stupid enough to break into an apartment on the bad side of town, surely they knew the resident would want a fight. Ripping closet doors open, tearing through the shower curtain, and slowly lowering to my hands and knees in the cover of the darkness in the hallway to check under the bed. No one. Not a trace. Nothing was touched, nothing was moved, nothing in my apartment was even slightly out of place. There was still a pile of my dirty clothes laying next to my desk, 4 old cans of energy drinks littering the coffee table, and the fast food bag that I'd carelessly left sitting on the edge of the counter last night, too tired to walk the 3 steps to the trash can. A wave of embarrassment flooded me. Someone had been in my apartment and, more humiliatingly, had seen it this messy. I don't know why that was my first emotion, I had nothing to be embarrassed about. If some asshole wanted to break into my apartment without notice, they should prepare to see it at its worst. I mentally smacked myself.

With nothing out of place and nothing touched, I stepped carefully back to the envelope on my counter. I ran my finger across the lettering of my name, sweetly written in a script that felt timeless.

Daria

The lettering was precise, like someone had spent hours and hours picking the correct swoop, the perfect pressure, the exact right slant. It was just as my first thought had described; timeless, that was the only word I could describe it as, and my breath hitched in my throat. I shook myself from the daze.

"God, Daria, just see what the burglar wants." I chastised myself under my breath.

I picked the envelope up and carefully peeled the back from where it stuck. I gently slid the heavy cardstock paper from the envelope and read.