Adoration

S E V E N : The Pain Has Eyes.

 I sat with my back to the open window, sheer drapes flowing around me. The sun was warming my back. A pair of whisper soft hands were braiding thick locks of hair, the hair was glowing red in the sunlight and I caught myself smiling in the mirror in front of me, my bright gray eyes taking in my reflection. I caught her eyes too. She smiled back at me, a knowing smile. No one knew about us, and we both basked in the funny feeling of secrecy. I loved her. I knew that he was her. I knew that this red haired girl in the mirror was me. She was Elias, but she was someone else. I was me, but I was someone else.

I had a feeling that this was what our love was, a feeling that despite the trouble we might find, we'd still steal those glances across the courtyard while our betrothed chatted. I would giggle, she would roll her eyes, a knowing spark would fly between us. I would follow her to her lessons, she would follow me to my bedroom. We would hold hands in the dark, link arms in the day. We would giggle and whisper to each other like school girls. I had the memories of this girl, I had the flashes of me and this beautiful dirty blonde girl growing up as best friends. I had the memory of our first kiss. I had the memory of other kisses between us, the ones with different lips. 

As she braided my hair she sang in a different language, softly. She leaned in, whispering the lyrics to me, and I knew the words. The tickle of her breath made me hum and I wondered if maybe we'd be able to steal a few moments before either of our now husbands would come to find us. She had pressed her forehead into my hair, I felt her memorizing my scent so she could think of it later. I knew she would think of me tonight. I would think of her too. She was my best friend, my other half, and so much more. I felt her hands finish the final braid, those hands skated across the skin of my shoulders. I was wearing a white dress, tulle covered my knees and mesh fell over my shoulders. She wore a similar dress in pink. I loved her.

"We're going to be late." She spoke in a different language, but I understood. I tried to speak back in my own voice, I wanted to ask what we'd be late for, but it was like the words were chosen for me.

"I would be late to everything as long as I was late with you." I spoke back.

I felt her in my mind, tugging me toward her. I obliged. It was easy to step into her, easy to travel the expanse of her wonderful mind. It was normal. She was part of me, and I was part of her.

Our bodies leaned into each other, breathing the same air, I felt her wish we were somewhere else. I wished the same, but the place she wished for was a place I'd never been. I wanted to know it as she knew it.

Our hands felt like they were made for one another, our fingers entwined. We didn't have to think about it, we knew where the other would be. Suddenly, she squeezed. She squeezed so hard I felt my bones crushing in her hand. The memory had a black film over it, it became a horror movie. She squeezed, it went dark. She squeezed, I gasped. She squeezed, I screamed.

I pulled back to my own body, panting, sweating, catching my breath. I couldn't open my eyes, I was still halfway there, halfway here. I felt her tugging me back to her gently.

"It's okay." His voice was soft, far away. "I know, it hurts."

I wasn't sure what hurt, it felt like my skin was ripping apart again and I worried. He soothed me.

"Daria, go back. Go back, it's okay." He faded again, the story kept going. I wasn't me anymore, I was the red haired girl. I was looking at my reflection and our hands were still entwined. I felt her brush her thumb against the side of my pinky, so soft it made the pain of her previous grip fade away.

We stared at each other for a moment. "What shall we do to make us more late than we already are, my angel?"

I loved her voice, it filled me, it soothed me. I loved her.