UNSPOKEN LONGINGS

MAANVI'S INSECURITY!! 😣

MAANVI'S POV

It's been a week since we came back from our trip.

I was sitting on the sofa listening to songs. Everything was going really well after a long time. But, my fate is not good. My happiness will never last long.

I closed my eyes and put my head back hearing to the songs from my earphones. All the events what happened in my life started running. Tears started falling from my eyes.

That's when I felt a hand on my cheek. I opened my eyes to see Vihaan sitting beside me, his eyebrows drawn together.

I removed my earphones and kept it aside.
"When did you come?" I asked looking at him.
"Why were you crying?" He asked.
"It was nothing."

"Maanvi we are married. You have to be comfortable enough to share everything with me." He held my hand.
"That's what you do when you have a partner in your life. Share everything without getting judged."

His words were emotional. Tears formed in my eyes again.
As soon as he noticed that he pulled me on his lap and hugged me.
I rested my head on his chest and started crying.
He was just caressing my hair without telling anything.

"I am scared Vihaan." I said clutching his shirt.
"Scared?? Why??" He asked patting my back.

"I am happy here. Everything is going so perfectly......I am scared that it will get ruined..... I am scared that something bad will happen." My tears started making his shirt wet.

"Nothing like that is going to happen Maanvi." He said like he was assuring me.

"You don't know.....you don't know..... every time I am happy something bad will happen.....every time I love someone they leave me.....or they die." All the past memories started playing in my head.

"You are just over thinking Maanvi." He said.
"No I am not. I was five years old Vihaan....when my Mama whom I loved the most died because of cancer. I didn't know what death was then, I kept smiling and laughing that's when my cousin, my mama's son, told me that he's never gonna come back. That's when I started getting scared of death......not my death but the death of my loved ones."

(Mama - mother's brother in kannada)

He didn't speak anything he just hugged me and listened to me carefully.

"Then when I was ten years old, my thatha died. He was the only grandparent I ever saw and had. It broke my heart when I heard he was no more."
I remembered that day, how vulnerable I was.

(Thatha - grandfather in kannada)

"All the people who I was close to stopped talking to my family. So I lost contact with them as well. Then I understood that I have bad fate. So I started distancing myself with my family. I love my father but I was never able to communicate with him properly. You know he never attended any of my functions or parents teachers meeting. I know he was busy, but still and because of that I started studying hard so that when I become the school topper in tenth then he'll definitely come to my felicitation. Like every other girl even I wanted to be close to my dad, speak to him, hug him and share everything that happens in my life. But....like I said my fate is really bad....my cousin got into an accident and passed away. He was the one whom I loved the most and then my whole world shattered. That's when I understood how unlucky I am in life."

"Maanvi...." I cut him off and started speaking again.
"No Vihaan hear me first. The worst part is not loosing them. The worst part is forgetting the memories I had with them. I don't remember a single thing about them but I remember each and every single thing what happened on their funeral."

I took a deep breath and wiped my tears.
"My family was not always rich. When I was studying we had a lot of financial problems, so I was never able to share any of these with my family. I was so stressed, that my health started getting worse. That's when I got PCOS. Thats when I realised that even if I want to have kids I can't just have them like others. I need to do a lot of things so I can conceive and even then I don't know if I'll be able to conceive or not."

I looked at him and he was looking at me keenly.
"And now, I have a new family, I have you, I am happy now but I am scared because I'll lose each and everyone I love. I am scared to fall in love. I am scared that my happiness will come to an end. I am scared that something bad will happen to one of you because of me. I am scared Vihaan. I am really scared. I don't want anything like that to happen." I said and looked at him.

"You know what Maanvi, when you think only the bad things which happened in your life and forget the good things, then everyone will think they are unlucky. You should learn to enjoy even the smallest and slightest good thing. And about people dying, we all die one day or the other. One dies early and the other dies late. But at the end all of us are gonna die. If we keep thinking about that we won't be able to enjoy our present." He said kissing my forehead.

"But...."
"Wait I am not done yet. About the memories Maanvi, we hardly remember what clothes we wore yesterday so how do you expect to remember something which has happened years ago and there's no one to remind you of those memories so it's obvious that you'll forget them."
He wiped my stained face and kissed my cheeks.

" You know what, leave your business and become a speaker." I said and he chuckled.
"

I really don't know how I am sharing all this with you. I mean I never shared it with anyone not even with Rishita. You make me feel really comfortable and it's like whenever I look at you I just feel like opening myself completely to you." I said looking into his beautiful brown eyes.

He smiled.
"I like it when you share things with me." He said.
"I like it too. I want to create the best memories with you." I said playing with his hair.

"And I promise you to give a life time of memories and I promise you that no one can ever replace that in your heart." He said pecking my lips.

I blushed hearing his words.
"Did I tell you that I really like your hair?" I asked diverting the topic.
"No you didn't." He said laughing.
"Then let me tell you I really like your hair." I said messing his hair.

"And what about me? Do you like me?" He asked with a smirk.
Ohohh....I looked away and got off his lap.

"I .....I am feeling sleepy.....good...good night." I said and went to sleep with my cheeks burning and I could hear him chuckle.

......................................................................

Hey peeps❤️,
Hope you all liked this chapter. Stay tuned to know what happens next. Please do vote and comment.
Love,
Maya 🕊️

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