Here we are folks! The Final Debate of TF2 mercs arguing about Politics! This is going to be divided into three parts, with the first part uploaded here being, well, the first. The fact is it's over an hour long, so dividing this up will make it easier.
All the same, enjoy part 1!
In the Badlands, it was the usual match between the RED and BLU Teams. The objective today was to push the bomb-cart to the usual checkpoint. The atmosphere was hot from the usual desert heat, along with the heat of sailing bullets. But today, tensions were even higher than usual and not because of the two opposite teams.
"COMRADES, KEEP PUSHING THE CART!!" BLU Heavy roars to his teammates, keeping an eye for any incoming RED Team capitalist pigs. His comrade BLU Scout shoots him an annoyed look, like he's heard this many times already.
"Dude, quit calling us your comrades! We are not your gay ass Commie slogan." BLU Scout snaps at the BLU Heavy. Nearby, the BLU Sniper hears BLU Scout shouting at BLU Heavy and heard what the Bostonian said.
"Woah man, chill it! Nothin' wrong with bein' gay." BLU Sniper says, but realized this was not the time for political banter. He shakes his head, refocusing.
"Stop muckin' about and focus on the cart!!" BLU Sniper shouts to his teammates. They need to get back on track so they could-
Out of nowhere, The RED Soldier swings his shovel hard at BLU Sniper's face.
"Gyaaahh!!" BLU Sniper screams in pain and goes down. RED Soldier had a smug grin on his face
"Get off my cart, you commies!" RED Soldier cries out, holding a triumphant fist in the air.
BLU Heavy tosses his gun to the side, glaring daggers at the RED Soldier. He points at the opposing RED member with a look of unbridled vindication.
"Hit me! Go on! You capitalist pig!" The BLU Russian dared.
"Stars and Stripes beats Hammer 'n Sickle!! Look! It! UP!!" RED Soldier mockfully boasts to the BLU Commie.
"I am going to kill you, capitalist pig!!" BLU HEavy roars furiously, equipping his Fists of Steel.
"Vill you shut up und kill him already?!" RED Medic shouts. He was very irritated after they lost the last battle yesterday. They hadn't brought their usual A-game when it came to beating the BLU Team due to the massive differences between their political ideologies, and that heavily affected their performance.
"God you're such a fucking moron!" RED Medic groans and pulls out his Medigun to heal RED Soldier.
"I'm not done beating him up, Medic!" RED Soldier barks at him. "I'm going to shove my boot so far up his ass he will never take a shit again!"
Because he was distracted, he didn't see the BLU Heavy charging at him with his fist drawn back. Roaring, the BLU member throws a strong uppercut at the RED Soldier with his Fists of Steel.
"AAAAUUUUUGHH MY GOD!!" RED Soldier screams in agony as he falls to the dirt.
"Schweinhund!" RED Medic cursed his teammate in German and goes to heal him.
"My blood no!" RED Soldier cries, holding his bloodied face. His nose and mouth are profusely bleeding, and his skull was probably fractured. Nothing RED Medic couldn't fix, albeit reluctant to do so.
The BLU Heavy laughs at the RED Soldier's pain, feeling pretty good with himself. The BLU Medic looks to the BLU Heavy, arms crossed.
"Do I have to save your ass again, Heavy?" BLU Medic groans, prompting BLU Heavy to look at him. "I swear, zis is ze third time zis veek zhat you've fought ze RED Soldier over politics!"
