I See You

Chapter 1

Castiel wasn't 100% accustomed to the intricacies of human emotion despite the number of years he'd spent watching the Earth in centuries past. Back then, he hadn't been working together with humans in order to restore balance and order to the universe...he'd simply been observing them, and emotions were something only truly understood through experience. Watching silently from a considerable distance wasn't necessarily conducive to experience. But now...he was working with humans, and it was undeniable: for the past few years, Castiel had begun feeling. Feeling far too much for one certain righteous man.

He'd known it was a mistake to lay claim to a human soul, but there hadn't been another option in the thick of the battle in Hell, and once he'd actually laid eyes on it all those months ago...he may have stopped trying to think of one. He'd known even then that there would be nothing for him down the road of Dean but pain—even more so since he'd heard loud and clear in the man's deepest thoughts that he wasn't attracted to men—but pain would be a welcome change from feeling nothing like he'd been doing for millennia.

Dean Winchester had awoken something inside the angel's once cold chest, and seeing him settling into a real life with Lisa and Ben—one he'd always secretly wished for—was nothing but fuel to the fire of Castiel's deep feelings for the human. Yes, Dean was under the impression his little brother was locked in Lucifer's cage...but he was dealing with it. He had a family exactly as he'd longed for since he lost his own at 4 years old. He was out of the life. He was finding ways to be happy.

Upon Castiel's resurrection and subsequent increase in power, he'd taken on more responsibilities in Heaven, but it didn't stop him from dropping in to watch the man. Even something as simple as seeing Dean smile sporadically was typically enough to stave off Castiel's deep longing to be the one making him happy. Or...happier than he was used to being at the very least.

One autumn day the angel flew to Dean and Lisa's house in Michigan and watched peacefully as the man raked leaves and gathered them into trash bags in their backyard. He seemed so content. So fatherly. So... good. With all the strength of the Host of Heaven, Castiel loved him. Did Lisa love him too? Did Ben? He didn't see how they couldn't. He glanced towards the house on instinct and noticed the silhouette of a thin woman watching the object of his affection through a sliding glass door. He silently flew inside, not surprised in the slightest to see the exact same love swirling behind her eyes as Jimmy's. Or...what used to be Jimmy's.

It didn't matter how much Dean refused to share with the woman, she still loved him. It was obvious that she could still feel his good intentions. That she could feel that no matter what terrible things he may have done, or how many women he'd slept with, or how much alcohol he may drink at night (and not at night)...he was a good person. She'd seen it with her own son, Dean Winchester was a defender of lives. Families. Worlds.

Castiel had no idea if Lisa was a religious woman, but before consciously making the decision, he found himself reaching out to her with his grace—a question poised in his subconscious brain. "Do you believe in God? And angels?"

The woman stiffened in front of him, looking around as if trying to find who or whatever had made the noise. But, audibly or otherwise, she didn't respond.

His silent voice reached out again, knowing he shouldn't but not caring. "Lisa."

She physically jumped.

"I am an angel of the Lord."

Her mouth fell open as she grabbed the sides of her face, muttering, "I must be losing my mind...goddamn voices...angels? Right. I'm an insane person."

Castiel debated showing himself before deciding he didn't feel like getting stabbed with the letter opener on the desk a few feet from where the woman stood. Instead, he spoke in her mind again. "You're not insane, Lisa. I am an angel of the Lord and your...faith has been strong." He tried to channel something the old him would have said, having no actual idea if Lisa had faith at all.