Tamber- Love and Lust

Truths

THIRD POV:

When Amber and Tara finish making their smoothies, they make their way to the living room and sit on the sofa in mutual and slightly awkward silence. Each one decides if they should say something and what that something would be. Amber feels an obligation to start a conversation since she is the host after all, but she isn't sure what to say. She sits awkwardly twiddling her fingers and playing with her rings as if it's the first time she's seen the intricacy of their design. Tara sips her smoothie and stares at the floor, contemplating whether or not she should say something, anything. Finally, Amber gets the courage to speak, knowing that it'll only be worse if they sit in silence.

AMBER POV:

I decide on saying the most boring shit. I can't take it. The silence is just too goddamn loud. I take a deep breath, look at Tara, and say, "So, Tara, how are you liking school? From an outside perspective, it seems as though you love it, but after this morning, I don't know anymore. Your talk about being exhausted all the time makes me think there's no way you're enjoying our educational system and its misogynistic student body. Am I right?"

She looks up at me with a smile and says through a laugh, "Well, you're not totally wrong, that's for sure. I have very mixed feelings about school. I think I've tricked my mind into thinking school is something I enjoy. I think I do that because I know it's necessary and that I need to keep up my grades. If I don't tell myself I enjoy it, my grades could easily slip and I could lose interest. Interest is the only thing that keeps me up to par with my classes, and it so happens to be that my interest is waning fast."

"Wow," I say. "You could've fooled me. I guess I was wrong about you, Tara." I pause briefly and play with the loose thread on the couch. "You see, I always thought you were so perfect and it fucking bothered me so much. I didn't understand how life could be so great for someone. I envied you. I suppose I should not have made such assumptions before getting to know you better. I just figured; happy girl, great family, great grades, beautiful and intelligent. I thought for sure you had it all, but something tells me I'm missing something. Nobody is perfect, as I'm sure you've heard. So, Tara Carpenter, what makes you imperfect?"

She looks at me with a dramatically confused expression and I try to hold back my laughter. "Well, I am far from perfect, Amber. Trust me. I try my best to keep a perfect exterior, you got me there. Funny thing is, I actually envy you. Every class, every hangout with our friend group, I would notice how down-to-earth you were. Like you didn't give a shit. I wanted that. I still do. We always kept this distance between each other and I wonder if that's why. When we looked at each other, all we saw was the qualities we wanted. If you think about it though, we honestly don't know the first thing about each other. I'm far from perfect and I guarantee there are many things about you I don't know."

TARA POV:

Amber looks at me as if I just snatched a puppy out of moving traffic. I stare at her, confused by her sudden silence. After what feels like forever I speak up, "Everything alright, Amber? I meant that as a compliment. Just that you're so mysterious and I'm so...I don't know. Such an open book. At least I am in everyone else's eyes, but people aren't usually as they seem."

Amber blinks out of her temporary paralysis. "No, Tara, I understand what you mean. I was just surprised. How could someone like you, beautiful, smart, and perfect, envy someone like me? I'm so boring. I'm so odd. I don't get it. The mystery behind me isn't a cutesy one, Tara; it's a scary one. You don't want to be anything like me. You shouldn't even want to be near me. Have you ever seen Twilight? Imagine that but without the romance and vampires and shit."

 I laugh at the ridiculousness of her words. "Seriously, Amber? To answer your first question, you are very beautiful. Like, very, very, majorly beautiful and I can't believe you don't see that." I take a pause to stare at her reaction but see none. "Second of all, you are not boring. I just know there's something so magnetic about you. Something that reels me in. There's something I'm missing, something you're hiding. And, Amber, I've seen some of the stuff you draw in class; yeah, you're not boring."

Her eyes went wide in shock as if I saw something I wasn't supposed to see, which I knew was the case, but it didn't scare me. It only intrigued me more. I continued anyway, "And yes, of course I've seen Twilight, and there's no way you're that bad," I scoffed. "What, if I get too close to you you're going to murder me or something?" Her face turns paler than a ghost. She fumbles her words, "N-n-no, that's not it at all. God no, Tara." She looks at the fabric on the cushion of the couch as her face turns pink. My confusion turns into curiosity. "You can't be for real, Amber. You're going to kill me? Kill me as in torment me because of how seriously I take school? Did you poison the smoothies or something?"

Amber now looks angry as she stands up from the couch and stands in front of me. "I'm being so fucking serious right now, Tara. This," she points between us, "yeah, this can't happen. We can't be friends. For your own benefit, Tara." I laugh at her again. "Don't be so ridiculous, Amber, I'm not that bad." Suddenly she moves her hand to the collar of my fleece jacket and picks me up off the couch forcefully. She walks us to the kitchen and pins my back into the sharp corner of the marble kitchen table. I wince in pain. She grabs my chin roughly and pushes me more into the sharpness of the table. She whispers in a violent manner, "I am not fucking joking, Tara. I am capable of hurting you, but I don't fucking want to. You should be so lucky," she says in a husky voice.

I suddenly realize the position she has us in. She's pressed up against my body, breathing heavily on my face as her hand is tight around my chin. I feel the sensation of the sharpness cutting into my back and then I smirk. I don't even know what's happening. It's like I'm not myself. I suddenly smirk, grab her hand off my chin, place it around my throat, and put her other hand on my chest to push me further into the sharp edge of the table. Her eyes go wide. "Okay, Amber. If you're so afraid you're going to fucking hurt me, just do it. Hurt me. I want you to. I'm not afraid of you." I inch further into her grip on my throat and speak quietly, "I need to feel something other than stress and I've seen your fucked up drawings, so if you want to fucking hurt me or hurt someone else then I'll volunteer." 

Her eyes go dark and she tightens her grip around my throat, she leans down and I think she's going to lean in for a kiss which surprises me. Of course, she isn't. She leans down and bites my lip until it bleeds and I whimper in pain. She brings her thumb to my lip, whiping off the blood. She then brings her thumb to her mouth and licks it off. She releases her grip on my throat and leans down and whispers in my ear, "Don't fuck with me, Princess." She then looks me in the eyes and spurs venomous words. "Now. Fucking. Leave. I will do more than hurt you. I'll make sure you fail every class you have and you'll have nothing left. So get the fuck out of my life before you fucking regret it. I'm not some fun fucking mystery, Tara."

"Amber-" I start to say, but she cuts me off. "GO, TARA!" I look in her eyes one last time searching for something that I don't even know. I run out of the kitchen to the front door. I quickly slip on my shoes, hesitate at the door, but decide it's best I leave. I walk out and start running until I make it home. What the fuck just happened?

A/N: Heyy ;) So I took a long break from writing this and kinda forgot about it. I'll be trying as best as I can to update this on a regular basis, but I am human and I have school and a job, so please be patient with me :) Again, leave comments, questions, and let me know if you have any ideas you'd like me to bring to life! I need to know if this is something ya'll actually enjoy so I can be committed to finishing this for you! Enjoy!