Chapter Three: Under the Hoodie

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The second she closed the door, I went back to my drawing.

I couldn't keep myself from sketching more and more detail into my dream creature. Finally, I was satisfied. I looked at the time on my phone.

05:39

Ok then. Time for school, I guess.
I packed away my stuff and jumped into the shower. If there was one thing I liked about our new house, was that I had my own bathroom in my bedroom.

The shower was so soothing. I don't know what exactly wanted to be soothed but it was sorted out. The heat and the water pressure and the vanilla spring scent took me to heaven and back. I felt...new and dare I say it...almost normal.

It was just past 6 when I finally exited the shower.

"First days are all about impressions. I'm not going for "nerd" or "popular girl" or "emo freak" or anything label worthy. No, I think I am just going to  blend in."

These were the times I wished I still had a sibling. Talking to yourself can only fill so much of the dark abyss of loneliness. If only Saima was still here....

Mom knocked.

"Honey. Don't forget school starts at 7. You want me to drive you?"
"Yes please, mom. Thanks."
"Okey dokey. Pancakes or willys?"
"Mom, they are called waffles."
"Willys then. Okay honey."

I laughed as I heard her shuffle away. It was just me and my mom. My mom and I. The two of us against the world. I thought we'd been doing pretty great so far. The hospital she worked for treated her just fine and I wasn't bad at school. Life was kinda perfect for us.

Now, back to today's outfit. Eventually, I wore a grey hoodie, a pair of ripped black jeans and black ankle boots. It's not too showy...right? I was second-guessing my choice in the mirror. The hoodie complimented my shoes but it kinda clashed with my dark blue hair. It was then, I noticed my eye colour again. My peculiar silvery-blue eyes, totally out of place with the rest of me. Since mom had blue eyes and blonde hair, I concluded long back that dad gave me the silvery to the silvery-blue and the blue hair.

I started wearing blue lenses to cover up my eyes when I was in 6th grade. It was when the queen bee, Clarissa, decided to make me an outcast and pick on me too. One day, she and her minions cornered me in the bathroom.

"Hey! Why can't you wear lenses and cover up that unfinished formation of an eye colour?
"I...I like my eye colour. I..I..I don't see anything wr...wrong with it."
"That's cause your eye colour probably makes you blind. "

Her minions cackled at her words.

"Wh...what's funny?"
 
That shut em up. Just then, Clarissa lost her cool and grabbed me by my hair.

"I think there's something in your eye, let me wash out that dye for ya, buddy."

I screamed and cried, begging her to let me go, but she wouldn't have any of it. She forced my head under the tap and began dousing my sockets out with water. The result was that my eyes were red and sore for days and I had to wear lenses to compensate for temporary sight problems. Unlucky for me, they were blue and Clarissa thought I'd taken her unwanted advice.

But from then on, I wore them. Not to please her, but to get her off my back.

Now I looked at myself, without the lenses and considered leaving them. Clarissa was in my past, she shouldn't dictate what I do with my eyes. But reality slapped me and I quickly put in my blue lenses. Tying my hair up in a simple ponytail, I grabbed my bag and ran downstairs to meet mom by the door.

She almost immediately noticed the lenses. Although she said nothing, I knew it bothered her when I covered them up. She insisted that I stop trying to cover up my uniqueness, but in my world, uniqueness is weird. So I cover them up any time I go out.

The car ride went silent at first, until I broke the silence.

"I'm sorry mom."
"What are you sorry for? You want to cover up your eye colour, sure. I won't try to talk you out of it. I just want you to know I support whichever works for you." She reached over to squeeze my hand shortly before she went back to driving.
"Thanks mom."
"No prob. My little gumdrop." Her smile grew when she saw me frown at the random name. She came up with a new one every two minutes s or so. It was fun but annoying at the same time.

"Mom, do I have to?"
"Xaela, we talked about this."
"Yeah but mom, you know it's pointless."
"You learn something new everyday. It's temporary anyway, until I can make arrangements for the school you want to go to."
"Ok, you know I could always help. You know-"
"No. You focus on school pumpkin spice."
"Sure...mama bear."

We both broke into laughter as she turned up the radio.

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