I squirmed on my bed as I scrolled through her Instagram profile.
Pictures of her in crop-tops. Her with her hair up. Her in a swimming suit. Her in a bikini top.
Sure, there were some pictures of her fish, her sister, and her summer adventures, but I skimmed over those. Probably shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it.
When I started to get to the pictures of her in the gym, I forced myself to shut my phone off.
I put it on the charger on my desk and laid on my back on my bed, staring up at the spinning ceiling fan.
I tried thinking about something else. I turned on music. I started reading a book. But my mind still managed to wander back to her.
I just couldn't get her off my mind.
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Shayne and Bennet's room.
The bedroom door flew open and slammed shut. Startled, I sat up quickly to find Bennet storming into our room. His form was angry, but his eyes were filled with tears.
He yanked some pajamas out of his dresser and started changing. Aggressively, might I add.
"Hey..." I said quietly. "What's wrong?"
Bennet shook his head and pulled on his pj pants over his boxers. He threw his old clothes into a corner and collapsed onto his bed, face half-buried in his sheets.
I crept over to him, sat down next to him, and put my hand on his back.
"Bennet..." I murmured. "You can tell me."
After a couple minutes, he blurted out, "I looked in Mom and Dad's room."
My mouth swelled with nausea.
"Oh," I whispered.
Bennet started ugly crying. "I couldn't help it," he wept. "The door was just cracked, and I had to peek in... And everything was just like it was when they left." He let out a sob. "Almost like they're going to... come back..."
I started doing my breathing patterns and pulled Bennet into a tight, tight hug. Bennet sobbed into the nook of my neck.
When the nausea settled down, I managed to whisper, "I'm sorry."
Bennet didn't answer. He took an uneven breath and sobbed again.
"We'll get through this," I said.
He pulled away from me and dove under his sheets, facing the wall and still shaking with tears.
I sighed. Bennet was the most emotional person in our family right now. He couldn't help it, so when something like this happened, it totally sucked.
Although, I would trade my grief reactions with his anytime.
I sat down on my bed facing away from him to give him some space, like I would want someone to do for me. After a few minutes of more breathing, I started playing my acoustic playlist.
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do, it's you
Oh, it's you, they add up to...
"I'm in love with you and all these little things," I whispered.
All of a sudden a plush Captain America came sailing at my head (and hit its mark).
"Shut that d**n thing off!" Bennet yelled.
"Ben!" I scolded.
"What's got you in such an optimistic, chipper mood, anyway?" he cried. "You're driving me crazy!"
