It's Not Love

The Introduction

Love in this day and age is gone, and if it's not, few have found the key and didn't trade it in for a situation-ship, a one-night stand, or a different life. I took my key and threw it as far and deep into the ocean as I could and made the biggest splash imaginable, leaving no space for regret.

I once had the relationship of my dreams, fine dining, anything I wanted, showered me with gifts but that's all it was, a show, a facade of what love looked like. On social media we were perfect, the couple everyone either wanted to be or take the other for themselves to feel what they thought was love. It was honestly very dark, depressing, and lonely, "I don't want to argue." And that's all that was ever said, days, weeks, months a continuation of a facade of fake smiles and happiness.

Like I said I took the key and threw it in Davy Jones' locker and never looked back. That was a long time ago, I've changed since then. My appearance, outlook on life, and the drive to strive without men.

Now that doesn't mean I don't look, have a conversation with, heck even dance with from time to time. But since being single I've learned a few things, they're all the same, they look different, maybe they have blonde hair, brown eyes, 6'1, a major gym rat. Or they could be shorter, skinnier, with blue eyes, and brown hair. But their motives are always the same, it's pretty obvious once you make the first move. And yes in 2024, men expect you to make the first move but every now and then there's the one in the flock who'll reach out, and start a conversation. I'll use an example:

I'm out dancing at the bar, jeans, crop top, and heels, I stand out in a small town maybe because I chose heels over sandals, or because my hair is just a bit blonder, or because my butt is bigger than my frame whatever the case may be I'm not trying to sound conceited when I say the entire room is looking. I don't usually buy my own drinks, typically just the first one, I wait until someone offers, but I don't go accepting every guy's offer in the bar because what do you think they expect in return? Exactly.

In this scenario, I just walked off the dance floor ahead of my girlfriends I'm dancing with. My ankle was starting to hurt and sweating is the least attractive thing in my opinion, nothing worse than someone you can smell a mile away and not in a good way. I'm about to reach my purse at our table when a finger taps my shoulder.

"Wow, you can dance! My name is Brad," again this is a scenario, I don't even know a person in real life named Brad. "Where's your drink?" I examine Brad, he's about 6'2, with brown hair, he's wearing jeans and a button-up, looks like the cookie-cutter type, and drinking a Corona. Not too shabby on the eyes.

"I was just about to go grab one, my name's Emma by the way!" I've got him locked in, "Well let me buy you a drink," bingo. We walk to the bar where I see my usual bartender, she's seen me do this a million times, "What can I get you?" Talking to Brad, he gives her his order of another Corona, and turns to me, "What would you like?" She's backing towards the fridge because she knows what I'm going to say but wants to be sure, "A Michelob Ultra please," we get into a conversation about beer and about 10 minutes later I make the excuse of having to get back to my friends. Usually, if the conversation goes well I'll stick around longer. Still, in this scenario, we had nothing in common, and I was tired of forcing a conversation that was going nowhere.

His eyes eventually wandered somewhere in the conversation and rather than entertaining something that was clearly nothing. I saved the both of us from any more awkwardness, "I need to get back to my friends," I looked over and they were motioning for me to come back, "It was nice talking to you!"

By the end of the night, he was walking out with another girl basically sucking her face off and I walked off to my car to head home for the night.