Relapse

Used

After an hour of me laying there I hear him. I hear Miguel coming back. His expression softer than before. He sees me lying beaten and bloodied, and I know he feels guilty. I know he knows he shouldn't have hit me, but he can't help it...he's addicted to the power dynamic between the 2 of us. 

He kneels down next to me on the bed and begins to clean me up, his touch gentle and almost tender. We dont speak. But as he works, his hands start to wander, caressing my skin and tracing the bruises he left.

"im sorry" he whispers, his voice hoarse. "I didn't mean to hurt you. You know that, right?".

I nod weakly, still remembering the sting of his slaps but trying my best to push those memories away...because I love him. But as Miguel continues to touch me, I feel my body start to betray me by responding to his touch. Despite everything, im still attracted to him, still crave his touch

Miguel notices the change in my breathing and takes it as a sign that im ready. He climbs onto the bed and starts to kiss me, his hands roaming my body.

 I need to block this out.

I need to block this out.

But when he tries to push himself inside, I cry out trying to push him away

I need to block this out.

I need to block this out.

I need to block this out.

I dont want this, not after everything he's done to me.

Miguel doesn't care. He's lost in his own desire.

I need to block this out.

I need to block this out.

I need to block this out.

I need to block this out.

I feel violated, used, but my body still responds, leaving me feeling sick and ashamed. He fucks me hard, ignoring my cries and protests until he finishes inside me.