Drinks, Friends and Karaoke

Chapter 12

They needed to talk. Olivia still wanted to prove herself. Amanda was open to it and to hearing what she said.

They each went to their apartments. Both really thinking about their dinner and what they talked about.

Olivia had gotten home, taken a shower, gotten into her pajamas. Settled on the couch with her book and a glass of wine. She had really poured her heart out to Amanda, telling her everything. Hoping that she didn't fuck up any chance she had with the blonde. She was also hoping that Amanda listened and felt her heart and knew that this time she had truly meant everything she had said. She couldn't focus on her book, so she just laid it on her chest and closed her eyes to think. All she could see was the blonde pouring her heart out to her over dinner. She was still scared of the repercussions involving her job as well as Amanda's but she really was tired of sacrificing her own happiness for the job. Not to mention her team would have her back and support her no matter what, especially Fin. Fin's own son being gay she and he talked alot about acceptance and everything and she knew he'd tell any one off who dare question her. She knew that Kat was bisexual as well and though she liked both men and women right now her preference was on women as her significant other was a very nice lady she had met a few times on get togethers. She ended up falling asleep on her couch with Amanda on her mind and hoping that she would get the chance to make up everything to her.

Amanda herself had gotten home. While the dinner and talk was nice she was still left confused. Like why now, why now all the sudden be real want this. She had said alot of this before but her heart wasn't really into it, this time however Amanda did feel her emotions were real. She had wanted Olivia for a long time and each time was shut down and really wasn't told why. She saw Liv's insecurities and her hurt. The times they had been intimate and Liv wanted the light off but Amanda was so enamoured with finally being with the woman she lusted after for so long just wanted to see her and see all of her. She had seen those horrible scars from Lewis though they weren't still fresh they were still marks on her body that Liv felt made her very unattractive. To Amanda they didn't. To Amanda they were her battle scars that she won the battle and kept her life. Amanda wasn't ashamed to admit she was in love with Olivia cause in her eyes there was nothing to be ashamed of. She was also very comfortable in her sexuality and if need be she would be happy to work with Olivia just to get her comfortable. But that had to be something Olivia really wanted. She found herself falling asleep on her couch with some game on tv. Yeah she still watched the games but didn't gamble anymore. Dreams of the vacation with Olivia.

It soon became morning. Which meant time to go to work. Each of them nervous as shit as to how the other is going to react after everything they talked about. Neither of them got the best nights sleep but they were rested. Amanda got up showered and dressed then headed off to work, beating Olivia to the precinct.

When Olivia got there she greeted her workers. Seeing Amanda at work and not too stressed set her at ease. She however wondered if Amanda had given any thought to what they had talked about. She knew that she herself had really thought about everything they talked about. She still wanted a relationship with Amanda, sure she was afraid of fucking up again but she wanted to be happy and Amanda made her happy. Fin could feel the shift in attitude and atmosphere and he was happy. He didn't like it when the two leading ladies of the squad were at each others throats.

They worked through the day, going okay not too busy thank god so they were able to tie up all the loose ends with the other cases they had. Closing out at least three of the eight they had still going. It had been a long tedious day, none of them leaving til about seven. Kat going on her date. Fin going home to play his video games. Olivia really wanted to go out with Amanda again and talk. She decided to text Amanda and see if she was up for another night of dinner and a few drinks.

"Amanda- was wondering if when we get out of here if perhaps you'd like to join me again for dinner, drinks and talking? It's up to you and no pressure. - Liv"

Amanda's phone went off just as she was finishing her notes. She saw that it was Olivia who had disturbed her thoughts. She saw the text and smiled. Olivia was really trying. Oh how she wanted to go ahead and give it a go one more time but she was scared shitless of doing that. She was still afraid it would revert back. She thought for a minute and decided to go. What could it hurt? They were just talking.

"Olivia- Uh, sure I wouldn't mind doing that? Or we could always go to either yours or my apartment, order chinese take-out and talk. Might be a lil less noisy? That's up to you and if you're comfortable with that. Or we can go ahead and go to a restaurant. - Amanda"

Olivia got Amanda's text. She thought for a moment. Amanda did have a point, they would have privacy to talk, but she also went to thinking, when they were alone and got heated it did end up in bed. It was too soon for that especially if they were going to be rebuilding.

"Amanda- I wouldn't mind doing the chinese take-out and talking but, would we really talk? I don't want to rush anything and I really want to continue our talk. I will say if you are comfortable with getting together at one of the apartments we can. Just let me know. -Liv"

An hour later, the more Olivia had thought about it, the most logical and quiet place to get together was Amanda's. She felt they could be more open with their feelings. She really hoped Amanda would open up some more too. Olivia ended up going with Amanda's suggestion for chinese take-out, drinks and talking over at Olivia's apartment. Amanda could up and leave if she got uncomfortable instead of having to be the one to ask Olivia to leave if things weren't going well.

Olivia text Amanda back to meet her at her apartment after work, just asked her to give her a little bit to go and shower before she came over. Amanda agreed as she wanted to shower herself and get into comfortable clothes.

It took Amanda a bit at home to get ready and settle her nerves. Olivia was at her apartment straightening it up a bit. It wasn't messy by any means but at the same time she still felt the need to clean. She herself showered quickly after cleaning, donning a nice pair of pants and a tshirt. She wanted to look comfortable and casual. Amanda on the other side of town did the same. She relaxed in her shower. Then donning a pair of jeans and a tshirt as well. She figured go comfy so she'd feel comfortable. She stopped by and grabbed some beer and wine for Olivia's, figuring it was a nice gesture. She got to Olivia's a lil while later.

Olivia hearing the knock on her door, smiled upon opening the door to Amanda. She waved her hand telling Amanda to come on in. Amanda entered placing the alcohol she bought on the center console of Olivia's kitchen. Olivia telling her that she had waited to order chinese cause she didn't know what Amanda wanted, so she handed her the menu from the place she frequently ordered from. Amanda picked what she wanted told Liv she was set to order. Olivia called the order in.

"Would you like a glass of wine or some beer?" Amanda looked at her.

"I guess I'll take a beer, if you don't mind. I can hold my booze and not get drunk. I know we need to talk and figure out where we are going." Olivia nodded, pouring her wine and grabbing a bottle of coors light for Amanda. They sat in a comfortable silence til the food arrived.

Amanda went to open the door.

"Where should we put the food Liv? Wanna eat at the table or be big kids and eat in the living room" Olivia giggled when Amanda called them big kids.

"I guess we could eat in the living room as long as you promise not to make a mess." Amanda laughed. Then she got up with Liv to get silverware. After they situated themselves again Amanda began to eat as did Liv. But Amanda spoke first.

"So Olivia, you wanted dinner and talk again. What is on your mind to talk about?"

Olivia just looked at Amanda. She did want to talk. She wanted to really know what Amanda thought of them being an us and really working on things. She didn't want to push but she couldn't help it, her feelings were really there and they were on the line just as much as Amanda's were.

"Amanda I know we have talked and we have put everything on the line. I've just been wondering if you gave any thought to us trying things again? I know I have given you alot of reasons not to, but I'm hoping and praying that things can be changed. I've done a whole lot of thinking Amanda. There is noone else I feel this strongly for. I really would like a chance to prove myself to you."