No pieces missing

Chap 5

Warnings: self hatred, doubt, medicine, family violence, yelling, slurs, bullying

"All those days watching from the windows"
That bounces in my head for a moment. It feels like . . . like me. Like I'm watching my life from a window. Like I'm behind glass. There but not really there.
Maybe Rapunzel and I are similar in more ways then I'd like to think. Maybe there is something wrong with Rapunzel too.

I take out my phone and look up exactly that. The results come up as 'possible neurodiverngent' though it does say it could just be her trauma.  People online are saying shes 'coded'.
I look up each word, wondering what it ment and begin to laugh. It means Austim. It's like wondering about your chest pain and google tells you that its brain cancer.

"Hey, according to Google I'm Autistic" I laugh, falling off the couch.
Autistic people are so much more complex. It would have been so easy to spot, and I would have gotten my diagnosis as a child. I snort again and roll on the floor, this almost killing me.

"Ink, you are autistic," Dream said, causing a silence

"Nah. Naahhhh bro. That's ridiculous. They have it so much worse," I say, keeping the tone light as if it was all a joke.

"Ink, I've kept a log of your behaviours and put them against documented autistic traits. I think you possibly have ADHD too. But it's okay!! We can get you into a doctor's office and we can fix you. All you need is some medicine and you'll be normal. You have a check up in a week, right? Call and ask for a test- sweetie" he cut himself off, looking at me. I hadn't noticed the tears streaming down my face. Without my thought I stand up and walk to the door, still in my nightclothes. I open it and without looking back I walk out.

Little time skip

"You are not Autistic!! you always do this! You always try to be the most special fucker out there. With the crazy clothes and the paint everywhere to the barefeet. Why couldn't I have a normal kid. Why do you have to be the most speical out there. Why do you look and make yourself different??" Mum screams at me.

I sit on my bed, mouth agape. I only told her about Dream and how it upset me. I was slowly considering it, reaching for my laptop to look at symptoms when she screamed at me. Tears flowed again, seeming like they won't stop today.
She smacked the wall, right below my rainbow coloured painting before walking out, slamming my door. She leaves in the car and that's when my chest begins to move fast. Things get blurry and I can't breathe. I only asked for help and she yelled at me! Insulted me! hurt me! This is why I cant trust anyone.

My phone lights up and I see a notification from an unsaved number.

"retard"

Right. I didn't save Nightmares number. This is great.

Someone slowly opens the door to my room and curls around me, trying to lull me to calm down. There isn't even enough energy in my system to look who it is before blacking out. All of the pain and rollercoaster of emotions today has been too much. My body couldn't handle it anymore, and thus put me to sleep.

"all is clear, now that I see you,"