Irhaboggle Pride (2023) I Saw the Signs and Symbols

Lavender Rhinoceros

"Quincy. You find the weirdest things..." Princeton could only gawk at the giant lavender rhinoceros standing in front of him, eye half shut in boredom. The only part of it that wasn't lavender was the heart-shaped birthmark over its heart, which was red.

"Dontcha mean the queerest?" Quincy bragged, patting the rhino's massive side proudly.

"But where?! How?!" Mallory cried, clutching the sides of her head in disbelief, eye twitching.

"Oooh, can I pet the rhino? Huh? Huh? Can I? Can I?" Emma hopped up and down like a little kid, clapping excitedly.

"Sure." Quincy stepped aside and gestured to the rhino.

"Emma, no!" Mallory turned her horrified expression on the other girl, reaching out to grab her arm.

"Don't worry, Lav's not dangerous," Quincy promised, patting the rhino's side again. If they would let me EXPLAIN... he thought with a smirk, but he understood. They weren't trying to be rude and disruptive, it was just a lot to take in, and they had a lot of questions they wanted to get out!

"Long story short, you guys know that one of my siblings works in animal research/testing and genetic modification. It's all humane, and this is their latest project!" Quincy again gestured to the rhino, but this time with both hands, even shaking them a little to accentuate his statement. Inspired by the cloning of sheep named Dolly, and the creation of glowing cats to determine if they were successfully vaccinated against feline AIDS, Quincy's sibling wanted to create a rhino that was both male and female. For added flair, it would be lavender, a mix of pink and blue.

That, of course, was where the nickname "Lav" came from, but technically, the rhino's full, official name was: Lavender Greenrose B. Thornface Quackenbush. "Greenrose" was a reference to green carnations and although the "B" was documented as only a "B", it was generally agreed that the "B" stood for "Big".

"What?!" Princeton snort-laughed. "Seriously?!" Actually, wait, never mind, that sounds EXACTLY like something Quincy would do.

Even though it was technically Quincy's sibling that created and named the rhino, his sibling was every bit as goofy and zany as he was. It ran in the family. Out of the entire Husk clan (five kids, three parents), only two of the kids weren't the class clown type.

"It was a family effort!" Quincy puffed out his chest, confirming Princeton's guess that Quincy's sibling wasn't the only one involved in naming the lavender rhino.

"Took all eight of you to come up with it?" Mallory taunted, smirking. "Maybe the "B" means brainless! Your intelligence is as nonexistence as your sexual attraction!" she said and Quincy went from pouting to laughing.

"Ok, fine, I'll give you that one!" he guffawed. Now it was Mallory's turn to smirk proudly. Quincy was a man of simple humor, easily amused. Bad gay puns were the quickest way to his heart and even though that should've made Mallory feel less impressed with her ability to get him to laugh, she still looked quite pleased with herself.

"Well, I think it's cute!" Emma sniffed, running her hand along the rhino's rough hide. Just moments before, she'd waited patiently for the creature to give its consent before she petted it.

"Consent from... the rhino?" Mallory quirked an eyebrow, but Emma was insistent.

"Everyone's consent matters!" Then she turned to the rhino and smiled sweetly at it. "What do you say, fren? Can I gib you headpats?"

While Mallory suffered from secondhand embarrassment, the rhino actually raised and lowered its head slowly several times, to the shock of everyone but Emma who only squealed in delight before running both her hands up and down the rhino's side.

"I wonder if it will let us ride it?" Emma looked at Quincy hopefully.

"Sure." He shrugged and helped her onto the rhino's ridged back. To no one's surprise, Mallory protested, but Emma ignored her, giggling as Quincy secured her on top of the rhino. Princeton could only shake his head and chuckle in disbelief. There was never a dull moment for the Quad Squad!

Once Emma was in place, Quincy slapped the rhino's rear once and to his infinite, private relief, the rhino actually started to walk. Little did he know, the rhino wasn't listening to him, rather, Emma had encouraged it forward just a moment before Quincy slapped its rear. Emma gave another excited giggle as the rhino slowly trekked around the yard. She pretended that she was riding into battle, but the others would've said she looked like a little girl on her first merry-go-round.

"Oh my god..." Mallory sighed, facepalming.

"Oh, let her have a little fun," Princeton teased. Mallory only shot him a deadpanning frown.

At the same time, Quincy was trying to coach Emma on how to steer the giant, wild beast. "You might have to be forceful and repeat yourself a few times. I think Lav's so big that—"

"Left!" Emma grinned, holding out her left arm and tapping the rhino's left side with her left foot. Immediately, the rhino turned left.

"Wha—?!" Quincy was dumbfounded, bamboozled! Even though he was one of the rhino's original caretakers, it seemed as if Emma was the favorite. Princeton and Mallory laughed behind his back as he crossed his arms and pouted jealously at the laughing Emma.

"W-well! I'm spotting!" he insisted weakly. Mallory and Princeton only shared knowing looks, raising their eyebrows in amusement. The entire time, the lavender rhino juts kept walking, waddling in circles around the yard, completely disinterested in everyone and everything the whole ride.

AN: Originally, I was going to have the rhino change color based on the gender of the person closest to it (on a sliding scale of pink, lavender, and blue, if not using every color of the rainbow) but that felt a little TOO magical, so I dropped the idea.

On that note, since this is part of the original world I created, I'm calling Creator Privilege and saying that although genetic experimentation does indeed fill this world, it's all humane. I know that's not realistic, but again, #CreatorPrivilege LOL!