Ever since I was a child, I have always had a thing for puppets. Yes, puppets. And no, not a weird thing, just a comfort thing, okay? I like constantly having my hand up the back of a puppet. It's not weird, at least that's what my mom told me. It's just... different.
So, anyway. I've dealt with this my whole life, was bullied a lot as a child, blah blah blah.... but as the genius Kelly Clarkson once said: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And for real, what didn't kill me (the bullies) truly did make me stronger. A stronger puppeteer. Their endless teasing and bullying and punching and kicking and wedgieing only helped me to realize what I had to do: 1. Get a better puppet. The one I had was just weird and gross and caked in nacho cheese. 2. Become a master puppeteer. I mean, if I had to deal with my little tiny quirk, I might as well make it a lifestyle! Besides, after years of wearing a puppet, I kind of got used to trying to sync it with what I was saying... and let me tell YOU, I got darn good at it, too. So naturally, as many other people do, I dropped out of high school to become a master puppeteer. And I mean many other people drop out of high school, not become a master puppeteer. That's a very unique and refined skill. Most high schoolers don't have that.
So, for many years, I focused on my puppet career, and for many years I was plagued by one issue that never ever seemed to go away: that little section of forearm that the audience could see whenever my puppet character jumped. And there was nothing I could do about it! Sure, I could set up a black background and wear a black sleeve and glove, but that seriously limited all of the possibilities for a set. And that just wasn't fair to the audience.
For these many years, I also tried to search for a solution to my forearm problem. And it came in the form of a really trippy dream. Like, really trippy. There was some weird monkey thing talking to me in front of this weird slide thing and then it started melting and it was just really weird. And then, I woke up. And I was invisible.
I kid you not, invisible.
At first I was a little freaked out, because I couldn't turn not invisible. So I panicked for a bit. A long bit. There was a lot of trial and error as I stood in front of the mirror, swinging my hands around wildly and flipping my hair back and forth searching for any sign of movement, but there was nothing. There was absolutely NOTHING in the mirror, but I knew that I was standing in front of it, and I definitely knew now that I was invisible.
But I wanted to turn not invisible, because I knew there could be a few difficulties for one who was invisible and could not become visible. You know, things like shopping or picking up prescriptions or going to the doctor's office... or crossing the street. Or driving. Except I can't really drive anyway because of the whole puppet thing. I use public transportation... which would be easier and much much cheaper if I were invisible. I could totally beat the system.
Anyway, I stood in front of that dang mirror for nearly an hour trying to get myself back into being seen, willing myself with my mind to become visible so hard that I had a killer headache. I was definitely starting to panic, because I was still completely invisible, and I hadn't seen even a glimpse of motion reflected in the mirror except for when I accidentally knocked over my after-shave.
So there I stood, the bathroom stinking of aftershave, waving my arms around like a madman, completely invisible. I have no idea what this meant. Or where it came from... I assumed it was that weird dream. I mean, everything always changes after a weird dream... right? Right?
Anyway, I eventually figured it out, kind of. I decided to spray myself with some of my cologne because I thought it may be funny to see little droplets of liquid floating in the air, but instead of being able to see it floating, I became visible again. Because of my cologne... it was very confusing, and I didn't understand exactly how that happened, but, after more testing, I discovered that any scented-liquid (not juice or anything, like toilet water, perfume, cologne... that kind of scented-liquid) changed my form. Cool. Nifty.
So, for a while, I just used my powers for puppeteering. But then this one day one of my puppets caught on fire and I had to survive without a puppet for two hours before I could purchase a replacement puppet so I stopped puppeteering. I did not want to risk another flame consuming my puppet during my show, considering there would definitely be a high risk of another puppet fire. I mean, my show at the time included my puppet jumping through a ring of fire, so it was definitely a pretty high risk. I mean, I could totally just change my show, but I'd rather just give up on my life dream and move on to another.
It was time for a career change. I decided I was going to be a superhero.
I mean, it was only obvious. I was invisible. Invisible people make good superheroes because they can sneak up on people and stuff. Pretty nifty stuff.
The only issue was that I had my puppet on my hand all the time so the villain always saw me coming. Like, the first time I tried to be all super-heroey, there was this guy who called himself "The Burner" and this guy could heat things up with his hands. So he was holding up a bank and threatening to heat up people's faces, which would therefore melt their faces. So I snuck into the bank (or tried to), but when the guy saw the puppet, he kind of freaked out and hit it with his hands. So my puppet caught on fire. Again. And I had to buy a new one. Again.
And that is pretty much how all of my endeavors went, except the puppet didn't always catch on fire. But what did always happen, generally, is the villain always saw me coming... and usually freaked out.
I mean, I may not be the ideal superhero, but I think I'm better than nothing, you know? They even gave me a name, and I think it's pretty darn great: The Puppetmaster.
However, the newspapers don't seem to quite know whether or not I'm a hero or a villain. The name kind of denotes evil... but I'll take it!
