the other version

save me save me

ᴛᴡ ɪɴ ᴏᴘᴇɴɪɴɢ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ

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george sits on the couch, his feet up on the beanbag as his eyes stay glued to the tv ahead of him. he's not watching whatever is playing, but quackity is hanging around downstairs too so george is pretending to be occupied so the ravenette won't realise the inner turmoil that the brit is currently fighting through.

he nearly kissed sapnap.

the moment was right there, in reach, and he so nearly grasped a hold of it. but he didn't.

george is out to like six people, and one of those people abused him for fifteen years until he managed to escape to live with quackity. it's no surprise that he isn't ready to come out to someone else.

plus, george couldn't help but think, in the moment, what kissing sapnap might actually mean. he wanted it, and he knew sapnap did too, but wanted what exactly. just a kiss? something more? a relationship?

it made george feel like he was suffocating, thinking about dating sapnap and the responsibility that comes with that. he could be a great boyfriend, that he believes wholly. george might be a prick sometimes, but he's funny and kind and generous and he's always put everyone else first and he'd like to think that he could make another man endlessly happy.

but he doesn't want people to know he's gay.

it's ridiculous to want a gay relationship but refuse to come out as gay, but every time he thinks about telling people his trauma creeps back tenfold and renders him unable.

quackity only knows because george had to explain the ins and outs of his dad's abuse (okay well, he didn't have to, but he wanted to) and that included the pain of beatings he received because of his sexuality, amongst others.

his group know because he made quackity tell them. it had been a simple slip of the tongue, jokingly calling ponk a slur and completely forgetting how that would look when they all think he's straight. he had lost all of his friends because of one thoughtless comment and, after a week of constant depression and relapsing, he asked if quackity would tell them.

he did, and everything was okay again.

then bad joined the group and, for the first time in his life, george made the decision to come out for no reason other than the sake of coming out. he trusted bad, and he didn't want the brunette to think he was homophobic if he happened to make a joke so he just... told him.

it was that simple, and bad hardly even seemed to care.

and george isn't stupid. he knows that, at some point, he has unintentionally come out to sapnap. sapnap knows he likes men, there's no point trying to avoid that, but now george is trying to avoid the inevitable of even more people finding out.

he thinks, if he just avoids sapnap, everything will be fine. even being around the ravenette, he worries people will see him and just know.

and maybe it's silly to be so sure on staying closeted, when all of his friends and his crush are out and proud, and the only people who may care are a few popular jocks whose opinions mean nothing to him, but he's scared.