Our Little Secret ~ Phan

Our Little Secret - a Phanfiction

Our Little Secret

A/N - Sorry for any spelling mistakes I literally did this as rough, please comment or add the book to your libary or vote if you want me to carry on because I'm not sure about it. Probably fluff, and maybe a little smut later on in the book, if I carry it on :D Thanks! - Linda 
~Phil POV~ 

I hated school so much, the thought of going made me want to curl up in a ball forever. The fact I had no one to talk to made it worse; all my feelings all the time hung up inside me, like a wardrobe of coats, it’ll hold there for a while but as the feelings build up there’s going to be a time I can’t shut the doors. It’s going to burst open. I wasn’t close at all with neither my mum nor dad, they argued constantly, and I never wanted to get involved. That wasn’t definitely one of the coats inside.

Summer finally came around and I was so glad I didn’t had to step foot in them dreary corridors again for another 7 weeks, with the bullies constantly teasing me, pushing me into walls and tripping me up. They had no idea what it felt like to be different; so instead they’d hurt me. The words and names hurt far more than the physical abuse though. When someone taunts you with fowl words long enough, you start to believe they are true. Maybe I am worthless. As my thoughts stopped, I looked bluntly up to the ceiling, sighing as I did so. I heard a very weary sound outside; it made me stumble out of my bed and look out of the window. There was a car across the road, old and tattered. That’s what the sound was. The house across the road had been sold for a while now so I often wondered who’d move in there. The car engine stopped and I saw doors at either side open. At one side, stepping out of the driver seat was a middle-aged woman carrying a rather big handbag. Sigh, another boring old couple. At least they’d be no trouble, at least nothing would change. Just as I was about to turn away from the window, I saw a boy climb out of the other side. He caught my eye instantly; and he looked only slightly younger than I. I gazed to try and catch his facial appearances, but he’d already jumped out the car and headed in his new home. I wonder if he’ll be joining our school; I thought. I instantly wanted to get to know him, but a part of me whispered inside telling me if I did so; I would regret it. No one liked Phil, loner Phil. Emo, worthless Phil, there is no point.

A couple of weeks into the holidays, and nothing had changed. I’d lie in my room, I was so lonely, but I was the same at school anyway. The loneliness in my room gave me satisfaction because at least I didn’t hear the calls of names. I’d often get up, and go for a walk on my own; or maybe sometimes I’d go to the shops, never for long though, I didn’t want to see the people who made my life a hell outside of school, I always feared they’d follow me home.
Grabbing my jacket, I walked out of my bedroom, still trying to fit my heel into my shoe as I pondered down the stairs. I decided to go for a walk to get some fresh air; I hadn’t been out in a week and I gave up hoping for one of my parents to offer a hand; they didn’t care what was going on in my life and they barely asked how my day was. I’d feed myself, and get by myself, and the days they did speak to me were the lucky few. I stepped out of my front door, closing it behind me. I closed my eyes as I breathed in the fresh air, and the bitter chills on my face gave a running chill down my spine. I probably did this a little longer than I should have if I didn’t want to draw myself attention. I opened my eyes, adjusting myself to the bright sun. I saw a door open across the road, where the new boy and his mum; I presumed; had moved in. No one came out of the door for a while, until a tall, brown haired boy pondered out. He saw me staring and gave a nervous smile, and he gave an awkward wave. Oh please don’t come over, please don’t come over; I begged, as I nervous looked away breaking the eye contact. Of course I kind of did want him to come over, but I hadn’t been in a social situation for so long now I’d be so scared if he did. He dragged his feet along the floor, heading in another direction. Phew. But then he stopped again moving to the edge of the path, he looked both ways of the road and began to cross over to the side where I stood. I didn’t want to seem rude so I didn’t run or anything I guess I just had to face contact. For a moment he stood in front of me in silence, almost hoping for me to say the first words. He held out his hand “Hey, I’m Dan” he said as he smiled.
I felt a warm feeling inside; did he want to be my friend? I reached out for his hand, letting out a smile also; “I’m Phil”
“I just moved in, I’m guessing you live here then” he chuckled nervously. You could tell he didn’t like confrontation either.
“Yeah, I do, unfortunately” I mumbled.
“Maybe you could show me some cool places around here, I was going to look round myself but then I saw you stood here” he said as he moved his head round looking in many directions
“Maybe” I bluntly replied
“Come on then!” Dan said cheerily as he picked up a pace. He obviously wanted me to follow him. I rolled my eyes and started to try catch up to him.

We’d been walking and talking for a while now and he seemed such a nice guy, friendly, not judgmental, and different. He was just like me, at least I thought he was, as I thought this to myself I began smiling to myself, letting out a sigh and a little giggle, just as I noticed Dan staring at me.
“What’s so funny?” he asked me, smiling himself.
“Oh nothing, it’s just... it’s just nice to have someone to speak to again, I guess. I don’t really have no one”
I felt weirdly comfortable in his presence already, and his smiled turned even bigger, and before I knew it he’d hugged me tightly. Pulling out of the hug he looked into my eyes.
“Me too” he gasped excitingly “we should hang out more” he said, smiling as he did so. That smile never seemed to leave his face for the rest of our trip, and neither did mine. Did I finally have a friend? We walked back home, chuckling and getting to know each other more. Turned out we liked the same bands, and we had a lot in common. We stood outside his house, awkwardly not knowing how to say goodbye.
“Well, um, I guess I will see you another time then” he said “If you want, of course” as he fiddled through his brown locks, looking down at the ground
“Of course! That’ll be cool, hey, here take my phone number”
“I don’t have my phone on me... do you have a pen and paper?”
I shook my head “I have a pen though?” we sighed and let out a little laugh
“Hey, just write it on my hand” he giggled.
I took the pen out my pocket, and I lifted his delicate hand up, writing my number on the back of it. Once I had finished I didn’t want to let his hand go, and I didn’t realise I held onto it more than it was acceptable. I looked up and blushed
“S-sorry” I stuttered, trying to move my hand away from his. I felt a touch on my fingers, as he let my hand slip out of his, slower than I thought it’d happen. He blushed and did a silent smile.
“Bye Phil” he said as he awkwardly did a small run up to his door; and before I knew it he was gone. He wasn’t there now, but I didn’t want to move from this spot; the butterflies in my stomach still flew around and as much as I tried I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. For the first time in months; years I felt a little loved.