Reborn as a Reluctant Demon Lord

Chapter 18 - How to Train Your Dave

Did you know that parallel universes exist inside the Omniverse Engine? It was a bit of a shock for me when I found out about different versions of me being even more idiotic than I was, but I guess that's just what happens in a realm of infinite possibilities.

The only good thing I've learned is that they can't really impact each other. Which is a good thing because some parallel universes can be downright weird. Most of them are relatively tame and seem to be a spin-off of my home universe with a few key choices changed, but in some of them, everyone speaks in pig Latin, or they have wars over the correct way to pronounce gouda cheese (which... There should only be one way. Trust me, I was just as confused as you are).

So why do I bring this up now? 2 reasons. The first reason is that the last chapter spawned a whole slew of them. The second reason? Well, I just wanted to leave you with the thought that they can't impact each other, but boy, are they are a thing that the System likes to use as fodder for dreams...

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While the party ran back to the village to get a good night's rest, I decided to put my new summon through its paces.

"Well, we already tested your speed, and it's abysmal," I said to the ever-silent dave. "So, I guess we see what else you can do. Can you climb?" It didn't move at all. "Right, why am I asking you? Follow me."

The dave hopped obediently behind me as we walked over to a tree.

"Okay, now climb this tree!"

The dave hopped up onto the side of the tree and began inching its way up.

"Well, you still aren't going to win any records for speed, but your climbing is above average since most mobs we've seen can't climb at all."

The dave just continued climbing. And climbing. And climbing.

"Okay, come down now!" I shouted up to the slime monster.

It obeyed by immediately letting go of the tree and plummeting to the ground. It impacted pretty hard and kicked up some snow around it.

"Either you have resistance to fall damage, or you're completely idiotic and will do exactly what I say no matter the consequences." The monster's silence spoke volumes, even though that was no different than before.

Well, at least I have experience dealing with an idiotic machine that will always do exactly what I tell it, even when I tell it to do stupid stuff. Thanks, programming.

"Jump as high as you can," I directed Dave.

It jumped directly up into the air and came about even with my head.

"That's... Actually pretty impressive for a body length to high jump ratio. Good job, Dave." I was hoping that it would respond to my praise a little, but it still just sat there.

Okaaay then. Moving on. What else to test? I thought a bit. Wait, is there any interpretation of my orders, or does it just do them exactly as I say? I mean, when I told it to come down, it just jumped, but I had no idea how it would climb the tree, and it did it anyway.

"Fly," I commanded the dave. Dave sat there and looked at me. I could tell it was confused. Don't ask me how I knew since daves have no facial expressions (or any expressions at all, really).

Okay, no impossible commands, or it just doesn't do anything. "Pretend to fly," I said. It then jumped into the air and wiggled its slimy body in a way that looked kinda like it was trying to flap wings. At least, if you stood on your head and squinted really funny. I mean, that's kind of interpreted, right?

"Stop," I said. The dave flopped to the ground and just sat there.

I should probably test the basic functionality first, I guess. I snapped my fingers. "Oh! Let's test resummoning." I checked my MP first to make sure I was above 50 and then cast my spell again. "[Summon Dave]."