darkest desires

Chapter 4

I stand, holding my bouquet in my hands and having a large veil over my head. All I can hear is the soft chirping of the birds outside my window, I'm ready.

Atleast I think I am, for all the preparation and thought that went into this event, I should be ready. It took hours of planning just so the day could be special just for us. Me and and my soon to be husband.

I look through the curtain, realising I had never seen this many people before in my life, why did everyone have to be invited? I just wanted something small. I see the Jackson and Carson family sat together, and the Anderson family. I see Melissa sat at the very front, having tears already streaming through her eyes before even seeing me.

I see my father beside me, now placing a kiss on my hand and wishing me the best of luck with my new life. The one he forced me into.

"let's go angelo" I hear my father speak, taking my arm and leading me towards the curtains that would show me to my new beginning.

I hesitate but he pulls me along, softly humming a bridal tune as we open the curtains. The room falls silent, all that's heard is the opening song I chose, the background of wildest dreams.

I feel all eyes on me, yet all I can seem to focus on is my husband. He looks so good in a suit. The material fits just perfect around his figure, enhancing his muscular arms and he has a little white rose on his chest, just like I asked for.

My father walks me down the isle, following the two golden flower girls, from the Carson and Jackson family, their children. They run down, almost tripping over their own feet and I smile at their excitement as they throw pink and white petals all over the floor, getting some stuck in their hair as they do so.

My father whispers "I love you." In my ear, yet if he loved me, he wouldn't be fucking handing me over like a prize. Then giving me off to Antonio, placing my hand in his and going to take a seat beside Melissa. His thumb strokes my palm, his eyes not leaving mine for even a second and we stand in silence, neither knowing what to say to each other.

We go through all the boring stuff, like vows and the wishes for each other, and how we will care for each other in sickness and health and all that stuff. And then we get to the part everyone has been waiting for. Not me, but the others can dream.

"Antonio Kiminski, do you wish to take Elizabeth Pirez's hand in marriage, and make her your lawfully wedded wife?" The priest says, and he nods.

"I do."

"Elizabeth Roma Pirez, do you wish to take the name of your soon to be husband, and become a wife to Antonio, becoming Mrs Kiminski?" He asks me. And that's when I realise I can't do this.

I'm not ready.

I don't want to say goodbye to my old life, if I say yes to him, I lose everything in the past, I lose my mothers last name, I lose Melissa, I lose my independence.

It's not Antonio, he's a good guy, but he deserves someone that actually wants to be with him. I don't love him. He's perfect, but he's just not mine. I want to feel love to someone who I actually care for, and want to be beside for the rest of my life.

I look to my father, seeing his eyes begging for me to make the right decision and say yes, but my heart wants to say no.

I sigh, accepting this was what I was destined for, and nod.

"I do." I say, and I place my hand out, letting him put the ring on my finger and I do the same for him, and the priest announces that he may now, kiss the bride.

He puts his hand on my jaw, caressing it like he did my hand and leans in, I close my eyes, preparing for my first kiss and let him take the lead, placing my hands on his shoulders.