✭ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇ ✭

ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ

ᴅʀᴜɢ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ.

☆ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴɪɴɢ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ☆

When I got home, the silence greeted me first. Aunt Sofia's shoes were missing by the door probably still at work.

I didn't mind, not really, but I missed her quiet presence. Missed the way she'd ask about my day without pushing too hard.

I dropped my bag at the foot of the stairs, kicked off my shoes, and began going through the familiar motions: bathroom light on, clothes off, hot water hissing as I stepped into the shower.

The steam curled around me, wrapping me up like a secret. I scrubbed shampoo through my hair, letting my muscles relax for the first time all day.

After drying off and throwing on my hoodie, I moved to my room and locked the door. My fingers knew exactly where to go beneath my bed, where the secret stash waited, hidden inside an old shoebox.

Inside: cigarettes. Molly. A few joints rolled from a dime bag I bought last week. And my favorite, a soft pink lighter with a faded heart sticker.

I grabbed half a joint and lit it, inhaling deeply. The burn was sharp at first, but familiar.

It clouded my mind with a slow, hazy fog. I sat cross-legged on the bed, letting my head fall back against the pillow as the high crept in, slow and sweet like molasses.

After a while, I put the stash back, changed into my pajamas — loose flannel pants and a loose button up — and checked my phone.

My feet carried me to the Kaulitz house almost on autopilot.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

As I walked across the lawn, the high hit harder. The grass seemed too green. The night air too cold on my skin. My fingers fiddled with the buttons on my top, undoing the top two just because it felt like the thing to do.

I raised my fist and knocked on the Kaulitz's door. A few seconds later, Bill opened it, looking effortlessly cool with his jacket halfway on.

"Hi Bill," I smiled. "Are you going out?"

He raised a brow. "Yeah. Our mom's out 'til tomorrow, so figured I'd enjoy the freedom."

I nodded, trying to look casual even though I could feel my heart thudding in my chest, maybe from the weed, maybe not. "Nice. Be safe, okay?"

He smirked as I leaned in to kiss his cheek. "Always."

Then he was gone.

The house was dim and warm. Familiar. I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water, the cold condensation biting my fingertips. Then, carefully like I was floating — I climbed the stairs.

Every step felt exaggerated. Too slow. Too heavy.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

I cracked open Tom's door, and there he was  lounging like he'd been expecting me all along.

"Y/N," he said with a grin, arms open like an invitation. "You made it."

I walked into his arms, burying my face against his shoulder for just a second longer than usual. He smelled like cologne and comfort. It made my stomach flip.

I then sat on his bed, and for a second, I just looked at him. His hair messy, his hoodie slightly wrinkled, those curious brown eyes scanning my face.

He was doing something to me, and I wasn't sure what but I liked it. And I hated that I liked it.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Tom's POV

She looked high as hell. Her eyes were low, red, glazed over — but damn, she looked good. Her skin was glowing, her lips slightly parted.

I lay beside her, trying to play it cool. But something felt... different.

It wasn't usually awkward between us. So why now?

Y/N POV

Tom picked up the remote, trying to fill the silence. "Wanna watch something?"

"Sure," I murmured, inching closer. The bed dipped beneath me. I reached over to put my cup down on his nightstand, and my shoulder brushed his chest heat prickled up my neck.

He started flipping through channels, and I just stared at him, heart pounding like a drum inside my ribs.

What the hell was happening to me?

⋆˚✿˖°

The movie was halfway through, but I wasn't watching. I was watching him.

"Tom," I said softly.

He looked over, eyes wide. "Yeah? You okay?"

"Yeah... are you?"

He nodded.

I reached over to pause the movie. My body leaned against his and I felt him tense, just slightly.

He pulled a pillow into his lap, and I pretended not to notice.

I shifted so he was lying down, and I hovered over him, searching his face for any hesitation.

I kissed him.

His lips met mine almost instantly, like he'd been waiting. The kiss deepened, messy and warm and full of feeling. Then, with trembling fingers, I moved the pillow and straddled him, diving in for another kiss.

Tom's POV

Her weight settled on my lap, and my heart nearly stopped.

I didn't know if this was real or a dream but either way, I was in it. My hands found her waist.

Her hips rolled slowly, rhythmically, and my breath hitched.

She felt everything.

But still, something in my chest tugged. This wasn't right or at least, it didn't feel right to take it further like this.

Y/N POV

My body was crying for attention. For connection. For something I couldn't name. I could feel the desperation in every grind, every kiss.

Tom pulled away from my lips, trailing kisses down my neck, leaving soft hickeys that made my skin burn.

And then, just like that. Reality had hit.

What the hell was I doing?

I froze. I pulled back and climbed off of him, suddenly overwhelmed with shame and confusion.

He wasn't supposed to be this. He was supposed to be safe. My best friend.

"I think I should go, Tom," I said quietly, unable to look at him.

Tom's POV

I sat up immediately. "Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry, Y/N—"

She stepped back, shaking her head. "No, no, it's not you. It's just been a long day."

I nodded slowly, watching her disappear out the door, her scent still lingering.

The room suddenly felt ten degrees colder.

I sank back onto my bed and stared at the ceiling.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆