This is a story I wrote as an assignment for my creative writing class. Please give me constructive critism, i understand it is not an award winning story, but I think it is a fairly good one. Please Enjoy.
Some homes are not of love and happiness. No light dares to touch its dark corners; no animals wish to spend a night within its walls, even to save themselves from the worst of storms. Unspeakable deeds happen behind walls, away from eyes that would torment the soul if seen. This has been the way of many homes, cursed with housing families that were not meant to be. And so, the violence and tragedies of the family become the home’s as well. Secrets and memories embroider themselves within the wood and nails of the home. In some cases, the souls attach themselves, anchoring more pain and sorrow onto the home. The home, unable to leave, is forced to be the keeper of these pains and secrets.
The rain attacked the pavement, firing large, thick raindrops onto the Earth’s surface. Hair soaked through his hood, Brian scanned the street, his hands slipping as they fumbled with his lock pick and the door lock. Deserting the method, he slipped a thin sheet of metal into the car door, using a hook, he pulled the door unlocked. Water dripped and rolled down the thick leather seats of the car. Checking for anyone one watching again, Brian slumped into the seat and closed the door. His hands felt through the glove compartment and side compartment, searching and rummaging for things of value. A loud, blaring alarm tore through the night as Brian accidently pressed a button on the front of the car. His feet slapping against the wet pavement, Brian ran from the car, disappearing around the street corner.
A new idea popped into his head, after a few blocks of searching for more cars to rob. A small pharmacy stood alone on the street corner. No customers entered or left as Brian entered approached the pharmacy. A lone worker sat behind the cash register, mindlessly flipping through a sports magazine. The man shrieked as Brian hopped over the counter and kicked him to the floor. Drops of blood littered the white floor, Brian’s fist connected with the clerks face, more blood flying. Leaving the man dazed on the floor, Brian broke open the register. On his way out, Brian lingered longer than he should have, picking and choosing snacks for the walk home.
Sirens wailed, speeding towards the pharmacy, where a 911 call was received from. Instinct created through experience came over Brian as he dropped the stolen goods he held and bolted out the door. The sirens became louder as the car chased Brian down the street towards an abandoned section of town. The car slid to a stop on the wet road, the officer sprung from the car, giving pursuit on foot as Brian ran towards the center of the housing area. Noticing a house whose door was not boarded up in the back, Brian sprinted for it, seeing it as his only option of escape.
Brian opened the door slowly, its dulled metal handle making no sound. He entered, feet leaving thick mud stains on the carpeted floor. The white walls were bare; a single green couch inhabited the living room. Rather than searching the other rooms, Brian tore through the cabinets and fridge searching for food. He was rewarded by finding two cans of soup and water bottles. The microwave blinked and beeped as Brian heated the soup and collapsed onto the floor. After several deep gulps from the water bottles, Brian sprung into the air, spinning towards the microwave in time to see the can explode, coating the inside of the microwave in tomato soup. Brian stood silent watching the soup drip off the glass panel that looked inside. Blood, clung to the wall, the word formed by the soup. Brian shook his head, reexamining and seeing no words there. Realizing how exhausted he was, Brian dragged himself to the lone couch, collapsing into a deep sleep as his eyes closed.
Brian screamed in terror, his body flung straight up in the ceiling and back onto the couch. The pain had woken him from a deep, much needed sleep. He placed a hand over top his now bleeding nose. Black mist crept into the living room, filling the empty space, slowly suffocating Brian. It latched itself and twisted around his limbs, pulling against him as he struggled to reach the stairs. The mist released its grip, sending Brian tumbling down the stairs into the bottom landing. His grasp slipped around the hand of the door. Brian rose onto his feet, steadying himself against the door. He flew backwards, into the impenetrable blackness of the basement.
