The Love I Lost

The First Time I Saw Her (Tobys pov)

My first time seeing her, I knew all of my friends were checking her out. She was new in school, but I felt like I knew her from somewhere. She was confident and had a smile almost every time I saw her. Her eyes were dark, though, and she always had her music on. She seemed like she was hiding a lot. When I first saw her in my math teachers classroom, she was in the back of the class working on homework from the day before. She wore black skiny jeans with a jacket. She had the hood pulled up, trying to make herself as invisible as possible. I heard my friend Jason start talking to my older brother, so of course I looked over to see what he was saying.
"Dude, I can't believe she's a freshman. Also, look at that ass and those thighs. If I didn't know her age, I would've thought she was like 16."

I kept looking at them, trying not to draw attention to the fact that even I was looking at her and that i was high in school. I mean, I've never had a girlfriend, and she would probably never talk to me, so there was no point in looking. Especially since I'm on the heavier side. She was so beautiful, and she just glowed in the way she walked, and it somehow made me smile and feel a little warm inside.

After that day, I could never get her out of my mind, and I was even more surprised when she started asking Jason for rides, and they told us they were actually cousins. Her dad had also been Jason's boss, but she seemed nice enough as a person.

She started tagging along to lunch with us, and seeing the way she was quiet around us all made her seem even more desirable. Even being sober, I knew that she was beautiful but would probably never see me as anything more than a friend.

One day, I noticed that she added me as a friend on an app we used for our gamers club at school. She was asking about a ride to school since Jason hadn't texted her back. Of course, I texted him, and he said he was going to, so I let her know. That day, she came out in a pair of purple camo-print pants, a black tanktop, a cropped jacket, and her makeup done as perfect as always. She looked amazing.

That day at lunch, we had Isaac's girlfriend with us at lunch, and those two got along so well we actually were able to hear her talk and make jokes. Those two seemed to get along like it was nothing and like they didn't have a care in the world. I liked that. I loved seeing her finally look like she was completely comfortable around someone. But something came over me, and I had to get her attention. I looked over at her.
"Hey Kaydence," I said to get her attention, and she looked over curious about what I had to say, "you look like a bad bitch."

I watched as her face slowly turned red and it felt so nice to see her like that. She smiled, laughed awkwardly, and thanked me. Her confidence was something that I adored about her.

On our way back to the school, she kept talking and laughing along with the rest of us. She was able to keep a smile the rest of the day. Seeing her be able to come up to us and talk like she was comfortable felt like one of the biggest accomplishments for me. I might finally get to know the real her.

Later on in the week me and her started talking more, and it seemed like she was always in a good mood. We would text each other good morning and goodnight. She was always awake before me, though. One day, I was bored and texted her she seemed a bit off today at lunch.
"Hey,"
"Hi."
"How's your day been?" I asked her.
She started asking questions to get to know me better, and I asked her some. It was something I would've never imagined would happen, but it made me happy.

I had so much going on at home that I felt like I needed an escape. My family is loud and pretty much always has been. My older brother Isaac was probably the worst, though. He had anger issues and never opened up. I love my brother, but it's hard to connect with him. He broke our door by punching it out of anger, although I'm not scared of him, I know others could be. As I'm laying in bed scrolling through Instagram, I find myself thinking about her and the possibility that she will end up with my brother. That scared me because what if she got hurt. I know from the way she acts that she's strong, but she's also the person that will suffer in silence.

I find myself thinking about her a lot. But one night had me thinking about her more than any other night, a night around the middle of December, Jason and Isaac's now ex-girlfriend, Savanah, wanted to go on a date to the movies but didn't want to go just the two of them so they invited me. I wanted to invite her.
"Hey, are you busy tonight by Amy chance?" I texted and asked her genuinely, very nervous.
"No, I'm not. Why?"
"Jason and Savanah are going to see the movie and we have tickets for couples so do you want to come with us?" I asked her, feeling myself getting more and more anxious and almost regretting asking her, but then she texted me.
"Yeah, I'll come it sounds like fun. And my mom said I could."
"Okay, we'll be by to around 6:45, so be ready."
This made the whole night feel so much more important to me. Now, the nerves running through my body were something I would've never expected.

Editors note-
I know it's not very much or very long but I am planning on adding more chapters I'm just going to need some time to get them wrote out and read through like 7 times so please be patient with me.