𝒀𝒆𝒔 𝑻𝒐 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏 || 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑔

Chapter 5

4am. Minho walked in circles in his room during a thoughtful, sleepless night. Indeed, the boy couldn't fall sleep. All that time, he's been overthinking about himself and about this whole situation.

"What's wrong with me." He leaned on his window frame, watching the moon shining in the pitch black sky. "I am not like this." Minho began to fidget with the blue curtains.

"Google is your friend, they said. But it's driving me crazy. I am not gay. I can't be." He sighed, unlocking his phone, decorated with a widget picture of Han on the very first page. He quickly locked it again. "I am just admirative of him. He's so cool and he's a gorgeous guy, he can do so many things and we have something together that's just... Wonderful. But I do not have a crush, it's impossible. He's a guy."

Minho's Google search history showed otherwise :

- Why do I feel attracted to my friend ?

- Attraction towards a guy but not in a gay way

- Crush test

- Gay but not gay

- Gay test

- Is it gay to like his best friend?

- Minsung analysis

- Men love men

"I feel so dumb right now. Please kill me." Minho somehow begged the moon. He has obviously been in denial for quite a long time. This was not the first time he asked himself this kind of questions. "It's just a phase." He walked back to his bed.

He lied there, in the dark. "I mean, what's wrong about being in love ?" ...silence. "But with a guy ?"

Somewhat, a tiny warm tear fell off Minho's eye, rolling across his cheek. He was definitely frustrated and flabbergasted at this discovery. Maybe talking about it to Han could have been a good idea. Or to Chan, because Han would have guessed something earlier than he should. Even stays knew that something was happening, Minho just refused to admit it. Now that this whole situation drove him insane, he understood. But should he flirt back or should he put a distance between them ? Despite the fact that he was always an ally for lgbt people, Lee Know felt disgusted by himself. (That would be homophobic tho.) What would his family think ? What would his friends think ? What would his fans think ? What would Han think ? Those words were ringing in his head as he cried himself to sleep.

6 am. Han entered Minho's room. "Minho." He slowly called, holding onto the wall for support. "Hyung you have to wake up." He spoke slightly louder. The elder growled. A second after, Lino stood up in a haste. "Han ?" He asked.

They could hear birds singing outside the window. The sun rising up in the sky at a slow pace, replacing the moon, was shining through the curtains. "Did you cry, Lino ? Your eyes are puffy." Jisung was worried.

"Oh, hum, no. It's probably because I did not sleep a lot. We don't care."

"No Minho, I care. Why didn't you sleep a lot ?" He sat down on the bed. "You look like there's something on your mind." Han grabbed the boy's hand, slowly caressing it with his thumb. At this precise moment, the elder just wanted to tell his friend that it was because of him. Obviously, he did not. He felt his eyes becoming a bit wet, his throat knotted. He wanted to burst out. "It's fine. Just a bit tired of the situation." Minho explained.

"Of.. which situation?" The two shared an intense eye contact. Minho had to think of something else than the revelation he had that night.

"You know, all that work and pressure."