Suga - I thought I lost you pt.2

26 5 7
                                    

Trigger warning: pt.1

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

It's been exactly one year
One year since I lost her
One year since everything fell apart
One year since I shut out everyone in  my life
One year since I had to watch her coffin be lowered in the ground
One year spend in Misery, Grief, Sadness, Guilt, Agony and Self-hate
Guilt because I wasn't there in her last moments
Self-hate because I could have prevented it
Prevented her from going out of our bedroom
Prevented her from going out entirely
But I didn't because I f*ckin slept

I absolutely hate myself for that

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

„Hey Darling, how are you?... I hope you're doing good...wherever you are."
Chuckling sadly Yoongi patted his beloved wife's gravestone.
It was beautiful. The gravestone itself was made of black Marmor, golden and white streaks waving through it like a river through land, the gold resembling her and the white resembling him.

„Yoongi are you ready to go yet?" He heard his elder, Jin, call out.
„I'm coming"
Kissing the her gravestone and giving it one last pat he lay down the purple sword lilies beside her grave and turned around.

His brothers (- in law), knowing what day it was, took him to the graveyard with the promise of spending a whole day doing everything she liked doing before her passing.

Kim Namjoon POV:

Ever since my sister passed away no one has been the same.

Jungkook has entire rooms filled with paintings for and of her.

Taehyung locks himself in his studio and records songs for her. For his sister

Jimin is always spending all his free time in the skatepark they used to skate at.

Hoseok is always holed up in his dance studio perfecting and creating dances he planned to do when she was still with them.

Soekjin is seen cooking and baking new things all day if he has a day of.

And Yoongi?
Yoongi is in the worst shape of us all.

Day in and day out he thinks of her
Day in and day out he misses her

Night after night he dreams of her
Night after night he misses her warmth

Morning after morning he wakes up in tears
Morning after morning he wakes up alone

Month after Month he struggles
Month after month he grieves

______________________________________

Min Yoongi POV:

I can't do this anymore.

It's too much.

I give up.

Opening the bottle of my antidepressants and putting all of them in my hand I begin to shake.
Blood drips onto my carpet from where I slashed my eye with a knife but I don't care anymore.

Screw this
Screw live

I want to be with you
Hold you in my arms
Kiss you

I shakily put the pills in my mouth and swallow all of them at once before sinking down at my couch staring blankly at the ceiling.

It's going to be over soon

Smiling happily I close my eyes Glady awaiting my release

Just before I lost consciousness and fell into the welcoming darkness my phone began to ring.
Looking at the caller ID someone I didn't expect to was calling.

But it was too late

I was falling down down down

Deep into the dark abyss of death

Just down down down...

______________________________________

That's it for today

BTS One Shots Where stories live. Discover now