Dealing with anorexia and arfid

Developing ana

When I was 13 I had a variety of body image issues, and ended up losing 5kg for it. Over the last few years, they have come and gone, but never really stayed.

I started therapy for my emetaphobia and arfid, and as soon as I started talking to my new therapist (who is also the psychologist that I saw a few months before for an ADHD diagnosis) she mentioned that I looked a lot thinner. This surprised me, as I knew that I had lost around 7kg but didn't realise that it was actually noticeable. She mentioned that my face looked a lot thinner, as did my wrists (I was wearing jeans and a jumper so the rest of my body wasn't really visible).

This restarted my obsession with losing weight.

I was told to keep a diary, a log of what I ate every day for a week so she could assess my issues. I became obsessed with this, and forced myself down to between 300-500 calories on a daily basis.

However, it is now the sixth day, and I ate 1600 calories today. I guess it's not a terrible thing, as it means that my metabolism can stay faster for longer before I ruin it again. However, there is a feeling in the back of my mind that this is the end of my ED, and after getting my weight down to 47.5kg im going to go right back up rather than lose the other 4.5kg to reach my goal weight.